So…About The Three Caballeros’ New Show…


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If you’re as die-hard a Disney fan as I am, then you’ve already heard the news about a certain new avian-centric animated series produced by the mouse house; One that hasn’t been officially announced yet but has fellow Disneyphiles riled up nearly as much as when the Ducktales reboot was launched.

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Movie Review Voting for August!

Well, wasn’t that review fun, folks? Now July’s post is done, you know what that means – time to open up the voting polls again!

Leave your choice of the movie you want to see reviewed this August either in the comments or by emailing me at Remember, you can vote once. If you’re one of my Patreon supporters however, you receive perks such as voting twice, getting an early peek at the winning movie, and more! Being a patron is optional, but much appreciated. If I reach the goal of making $100 per month, I can go back to doing weekly television series reviews! As of writing this I’m exactly halfway there!

Anyway, your movies for this month are:

  • The Music Man (1962)
  • An American Tail (1986)
  • Groundhog Day (1993)
  • March of the Wooden Soldiers (1934)
  • A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (1967)
  • The Pirate (1947)

Happy voting, folks!

Wait a minute, my first ever review was published this month three years ago…


July Review: Pippi Longstocking (1997)


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pippi poster

“Children need a little order in their lives, especially if they can order it themselves.”

I’d like to start off by pointing out a mistake which should have been fairly obvious from my last review. When I said that the only two Disney movies that haven’t gotten a blu-ray release yet were the remaining package features, I was wrong – The Black Cauldron has yet to be released on that format. This is something I should know both as a Disney fan and for the fact that it’s On The Shelf for future voting (it might even be perfect review fodder for Halloween…)

Anyway, on to this month’s review.

Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraim’s Daughter Longstocking, or Pippi Longstocking for short, was one of my childhood idols, something I never quite realized until I rediscovered the film that introduced me to her in the first place. Pippi lived a Peter Pan-esque life completely independent from grownup rule and schooling; she called the shots in her own house, but had a firm grip on average adult responsibilities – which she was able to approach and complete as if they were games – and little to want for thanks to a sizable fortune she happily shared with those in need, not to mention she knew how to run circles around stuffy useless old farts with her playful, seemingly simple wit.

Basically, she’s everything I wanted to be as a kid AND as an adult.

And who do we have to thank for bringing this character to life? That would be none other than Sweden’s own Astrid Lindgren.


If JK Rowling is the literary world’s cool mom, then she’s its sweet and occasionally sassy old granny.

Lindgren is revered in her homeland for perfectly capturing a child’s point of view in her stories; you’ll find no wishy-washy protagonists or condescending for the kiddies in them. Her female main characters in particular are fierce, free, and adventurous, though they keep a genuine loving heart beating within them. That’s probably why I was drawn to Pippi so much after finding her. Though it’s been years since I’ve picked up the Pippi Longstocking books, I recall them being among my childhood favorites. They’ve been adapted multiple times for television, film, and even stage, yet as of writing there’s only been one full-length animated version, the one we’ll be looking at today from Canada’s primarily television (but sometimes film) animation studio, Nelvana. This wasn’t the first time Pippi was courted for an animated retelling, however. Hayao Miyazaki approached Lindgren for one back when Studio Ghibli was just getting off the ground, even going so far as to draw an entire sketch book’s worth of preliminary designs and storyboards, but she turned him down because…


You know what? She’s got no excuse. As satisfied as I am with the one we got, you really dropped the ball, Lindgren. Just think about it. HAYAO MIYAZAKI’S PIPPI LONGSTOCKING. Something simple yet beautifully animated and whimsical that could have stood on the shelf between Kiki’s Delivery Service and Whisper of the Heart. Seriously, look up the drawings he did. You’ll be wondering why he got left holding the bag too.

So without further adieu, let’s sail right into Nelvana’s Pippi Longstocking and see how it holds up.

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Movie Review Voting for July!

It’s that time again!


“To see how many Pringles we can eat in one sitting?”

No, to see what people want me to review for July! Your choices are:

  • Pippi Longstocking (1997)
  • Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
  • The Court Jester (1957)
  • A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum
  • Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
  • The Pirate (1948)

The usual rules apply; you can vote once by either leaving the movie you want to see reviewed in the comments or sending an email to Voting ends on June 30th. Patreon supporters get perks such as being able to vote twice and getting a say in what movies wind up On The Shelf. It’s totally optional, but much appreciated. Special thanks to my supporters Gordhan Rajani and Amelia Jones for helping me keep this up. Click here if you wish to support me too. Thank you, and happy voting!

June Review: Fun and Fancy Free (1947)


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Sigh, poor package features, why does nobody like you? Why is it that internet reviewers and Disney critics and fans always seem to give you the shaft? Is it the minimized animation budget? The effort towards story and character that was forcibly driven towards wartime propaganda over actual films? The deviation of a traditional three-act structure in favor of a string of unrelated shorts woven together by a loosely connecting theme or narration? Well in a manner of speaking, it’s a combination of all three. For one thing most people I know prefer to sit down and enjoy a movie that has one uninterrupted story. And yes there are a good number of films, great ones, in fact, that play around with how the story is presented, but as of writing there’s yet to be an audience or even a filmmaker clamoring for an animated equivalent of something like Pulp Fiction.


In theory.

And of course the major factor in all this is the time period in which these movies were made. I’ve already talked about this in my review of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad but for those not on the uptake, THERE WAS A FREAKING WORLD WAR WHILE THIS WAS GOING ON. Disney couldn’t afford to do something on the scale of Pinocchio or Fantasia or even Dumbo because his best animators were A, drafted out to fight, B, struggling to work with what little resources they had when the government was also pushing them to remind the public to buy bonds, or C, kicked out because of the disastrous animators’ strike of the early ’40’s. Projects with linear narratives that were considered big scale like Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and Lady and the Tramp were put on hold for virtually a decade. The best they could do was package a bunch of fun little shorts together because releasing them individually wouldn’t bring in as much desperately needed revenue as a full feature would.

And who says these shorts are bad? I don’t! At worst they’re fluffy little time fillers, but at their best they can hold their own with the big leagues of Disney animation. Again, going back to my Ichabod and Mr. Toad review, Disney’s Legend of Sleepy Hollow is the first thing I and a good many others think of when the story comes to mind. I also have the advantage that a lot of people today sadly don’t in that I grew up with virtually all of the package feature shorts in one way or another, either through individual VHS releases or on the Disney Channel as part of shows like Mouse Tracks, Donald’s Quack Attack, or the DTV music videos. It would be years until I saw them all as they were meant to in order as one full film, but blame Disney themselves for that. It’s a Catch-22 situation when it comes to their forgotten films; Disney sees there’s not much public interest in these old movies and so holds out on releasing them for as long as possible, while the public notices Disney never getting around to releasing these movies and think it must be because they’re not worth their time. So nobody wins and we all get smothered under another avalanche of Frozen dvds.



self-portrait caricature

“No! Go home! You’re drunk!”

As of writing there’s only two – count ’em, TWO – Walt Disney Animated Classics that have yet to be released fully on Blu-Ray, and they’re, you guessed it, package features. “Make Mine Music” and “Melody Time” to be precise. You wanna know how old the dvds for them are? The advertisements that play before the main menu are for The Tigger Movie and The Little Mermaid 2. That’s THE YEAR 2000. NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO. And the only reason why today’s feature “Fun and Fancy Free” got on blu-ray is because the higher ups at Disney decided to combine it with Ichabod & Mr. Toad. So now we have a package blu-ray of two package features (three if you count The Reluctant Dragon which is also on there). It’s Package-ception, if you will. BWOMP.


“She’ll get around to the actual review any minute now, folks.”

Back to the topic at hand, World War Two was finally winding down and the country was in a state of elation from having their boys return home after tearing the Axis powers a new one. Walt Disney had ideas for two full-length features, one inspired by a short story by Sinclair Lewis (I’d say based on but it barely resembles the tale that’s printed) and the other a take on Jack and the Beanstalk starring Mickey Mouse. Neither of them were able to get the treatment he wanted due to story issues and because the first thing to go during wars and Republican administrations is money for the arts. So he compromised by bringing them both into one movie with each of them sharing a half. Looking back I would have loved to have seen what an hour-length or even 75 minute version of Mickey and the Beanstalk would have been like because for all its flaws I enjoy it that much, and I’m tired of holding my breath waiting for Disney to do SOMETHING with “Gigantic”. Bongo on the other hand, I can’t see as anything other than a short, but that’s not a jab at its quality. Yet how do both stand up as a feature? Does it live up to what its title promises? Let’s find out.

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An Official Upload Schedule (finally!)

Hello everyone. I’m sure some of you are tired of waiting after the first of every month, unsure of exactly when each movie review will be released. I’m also disappointed by my lack of consistency. Well, fret no more. Beginning this June, reviews will be posted on the first of every month. Voting will promptly recommence the following day, where I’ll post the list of films to vote for.

Thanks, and I’ll see you June 1st for the next review!

May Review: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone (2001)


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“Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

– Harry’s acceptance letter to Hogwarts

When I was in third grade, I saw my older sister doing something that shocked me beyond all belief – reading a book. Not a girly magazine, not 30 posters of Devon Sawa and Johnathan Taylor Thomas stapled together, an honest to goodness book. It was one her best friend recommended she read. On the cover was a boy riding a broomstick; the back whispered of an orphan boy, midair sports, dragons and a school for magic. Vaguely remembering the name Harry something-or-other from a quiz featured in an issue of Disney Adventures (yes, really), I fell into the usual baby sister routine of waiting for the older sibling to pass her book down to me so I could see what the fuss was about.

It was worth the wait.

An unprecedented worldwide success, Harry Potter was to literature as Star Wars was to film, revolutionizing the fantasy genre and changing the way people viewed “children’s” entertainment. JK Rowling, a woman who suddenly made reading not just for lit nerds, quickly became a household name along with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore and a cast of hundreds of magical characters she brought to life in an immersive original world that any kid would give their front teeth to visit. Luckily most wont have to do that now that we have the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at the Universal Studios theme parks. Speaking as someone who’s gone there twice, I’m not ashamed to say it feels like the whole Hogwarts experience was ripped right from the page and screen. I even got myself my own wand (reed, 12 inches, leafy vine pattern spiraling towards the tip, very firm and reliable).

With three hit books and a fourth on the way, a movie series was as inevitable as the dawn of the twenty-first century. Rowling was courted by many studios and directors for the rights to produce one of the biggest blockbuster franchises in history. Disney was among them, but since this was during the Eisner era they let it slip through their fingers along with prospective theme park rights, respect for legacy, and common sense in general.


“”Let Warner Bros. make their little wizard picture,” he said. “They’ll be too busy watching Little Mermaid 2 to go see it”, he said.”

Thanks to a largely faithful screenplay by Steve Kloves and Rowling’s adherence to detail (as well as insisting that the entire cast be authentically British), the stage was set for a perfect adaptation. The one caveat was who would be helming Harry’s first foray into Hollywood. Rowling’s first choice was none other than Monty Python alum, the brilliant mind behind The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and The Director With The Worst Luck in the Universe, Terry Gilliam. Unfortunately the heads at Warner Bros were wary of potential box office returns with Terry because, well, see the last title. With that they unceremoniously dumped him in favor of the significantly safer bet, Chris Columbus of Home Alome fame. Chris is not a hack by any means, yet book fans and Terry’s fans (and poor Terry himself) have criticized this movie as too safe by half under his direction. And…

…honestly I don’t see it. Chris Columbus, in my opinion, not only does a fine job introducing the wizard world to us, but later manages to top himself in the sequel. As the initial entry into the Harry Potter saga there’s a load of backstory and world building that needs to be done and he does so with whimsy aplomb, but not without that undercurrent of mystery and darkness that turns this boarding school romp into a true adventure that explores the power of friendship and love and the lines between good and evil. One can’t help but imagine every now and then what kind of creativity and wonder Terry might have brought to the film, but as a wise man once said, it doesn’t do to dwell on dreams.

So grab your wand and settle in with a mug of butterbeer, let’s dive into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone.

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Movie Voting Time for June!

Hello again! Well you came, you saw, and you made your opinion clear. This month we’re returning to the usual voting routine. Looks like we’re going to have to save Chamber of Secrets for Sequel Month –

Oops, did I type that out loud?

Anyway, in that time between announcing that the first Harry Potter will be my next movie review and this post, my birthday came and went, and with it came some new movies for the Shelf! Please welcome the Tim Burton tribute to the “worst director in history” Ed Wood, and two more Gene Kelly classics, The Pirate with Judy Garland and On The Town with Frank Sinatra! I also received the blu-ray edition of The Mel Brooks Collection; some of the movies there are already On The Shelf but it comes with a few more that aren’t though I haven’t seen yet, and I’m ready to give them serious consideration.

And now the moment you’ve been waiting for, the selection for this month’s movies to vote for:

  • Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
  • The Court Jester (1957)
  • Conan the Barbarian (1982)
  • Pippi Longstocking (1997)
  • Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

The usual rules apply; you can vote once by either leaving the movie you want to see reviewed in the comments or sending an email to Voting ends on May 31st. Patreon supporters get perks such as being able to vote twice and getting a say in what movies wind up On The Shelf. It’s totally optional, but much appreciated. Special thanks to my supporters Gordhan Rajani and Amelia Jones for helping me keep this up. Click here if you wish to support me too. Thank you, and happy voting!

Movie Voting is Back!!

Here it is, the moment you’ve been waiting for! It’s time to vote for what movie you’d like to see reviewed for the month of May! I’ve had a nice break and now I’ve got quite a few reviews in store. This month the nominees are:

For anyone not aware of how things work here, you can vote once and only once by either saying what you movie you want to see in the comments or by emailing me at Voting closes on April 30th. Supporters on Patreon can receive perks such as doubling your vote or having a movie of your choice being considered for review! It’s completely optional but it would help me a great deal and is much appreciated. Thanks, and Happy Voting!