My Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition (or A Mini-Review of A Holiday Standard)

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, another day of eating until you’ve passed out and alternating between the sounds of parades, footballs, and thinly veiled criticisms from relatives. It’s one of my favorite times of the year not just for the food or the family or the fact that Christmas is almost a month away, but for the traditions. Not every family does things the same when it comes to the holidays. For the first time, my boyfriend joined me at my house this year instead of being with his family, which, to be honest, most of the family was surprisingly fine with (his grandmother, who normally does all the cooking, came down with pneumonia. They ended up having their dinner catered, so he didn’t miss much.)

In doing so I got to introduce him to some of the things we do at my house. My family alternates hosting the big dinner every other year with other members of our extremely extended family tree and it just so happened this was our turn. While prepping we put the Macy’s Parade on in the background (and darn if I still don’t get just a little excited to see Santa show up at the end). We bring out the best china and silverware that are only used for special occasions as well as salt and peppershakers and other things that have been passed down from my great-grandmother. And my boyfriend learned the hard way that in our house, the kids aren’t shooed from the kitchen so the adults can work– if you want to eat at the table, you gotta WORK for it! All things considered it was a very small affair this year since certain relations went to other dinners or were out of the country, but his presence certainly livened things up.

After all was said and done, the plates cleared, the last of the cousins shown the door, I decided to give him a little leeway and take part in his number one cannot-be-missed Thanksgiving tradition –

 

Watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

 

Not Planes, Trains and Automobiles, which is all about getting home for Thanksgiving (and we would have watched that too if I had Netflix).

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

 

It might seem odd, but when you think about it, it’s perfectly fitting for a Thanksgiving as well as Christmas. Not only is it a great way to kick off the Christmas season (it IS one of the best Christmas comedies if not one of the best Christmas movies ever made), but it does involve a big messy family coming together for the holidays, just like what happens across America every end of November. Every moment gets a huge laugh out of me and it always puts me in the yuletide spirit.

But this is not the movie I’m about to discuss. I’m here to talk about what one Thanksgiving movie tradition in my family that has endured an unbelievable amount of time, one that goes back to when my father was a boy and maybe even before then.

I’m not entirely sure if the rest of the country is as lucky, but every year on Thanksgiving in my home state on Channel 11 they show a little black and white film that recently turned eighty years old. It’s one that by today’s standards may seem a bit cheesy and outdated but I’d be loath to miss it. It’s a fantastical adventure that served as my gateway drug to two of the most iconic comedians of all time. Most of all, it’s one of those movies I thought I outgrew as I got older and more cynical but unexpectedly found myself adoring it again just as much as when I was a child.

I am of course talking about the Laurel and Hardy classic, March of the Wooden Soldiers.

This is an adaptation of the operetta Babes in Toyland, and for my money, it’s the best version out there. I know some people immediately think of the Disney version from the 60’s with Annette Funicello and Ray Bolger as the best, but those people have clearly never watched this one. This isn’t nostalgia talking by the way; I’ve sat down and watched the Disney one, that trippy 80’s one with Keanu Reeves and the animated version done by Don Bluth’s brother and while they each have their strengths and weaknesses, they simply don’t compare. For starters, it set a precedent in how the magical world of Toyland should look – lots of familiar nursery rhyme characters running about, toy-shaped houses and so forth. The later editions have the upper edge on this by being shot in color while we have to make do with the colorized versions, but even then I don’t actually mind watching those

Second, and most importantly, it did something that no other version has done; something so surprisingly bold that if it were another film with another set of actors it wouldn’t work, yet here, it does. Brilliantly.

You see, most adaptations of Babes in Toyland have their leads be a pair of doe-eyed lovers who are just so darn happy to be in love and whose only concern is that the evil Barnaby will ensure that they will never be together…and they are all so BORING. Not even the loveable Annette Funicello, God rest her soul, could make her character the least bit compelling.

 

So here’s what March of the Wooden Soldiers did – the main characters are not the lovebirds (Tom-Tom and Bo Peep in this version). The main characters are the ones who would normally be the comedic side characters, in this case, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

 

And that is ingenious. The director not only knew that people would be willing to see them than they would just another mopey love triangle, but they had the right amount of talent and chemistry to carry a film like this. Because Stan and Ollie care about Tom and Bo ending up together, we end up tangentially caring about them as well (though to be fair this couple is probably the one with the most personality out of all of them). Also, they are at the top of their game when it comes to the comedy here. Every moment from the dialogue to the slapstick is hysterical (there’s one scene involving them at Barnaby’s wedding that I will not dare spoil but needless to say it has me in stitches every time). It’s hilarious to see them continuously goof up their plans to save the day, but that makes it even more triumphant in the end where they do manage to work together and actually kick some ass alongside the titular soldiers.

Oh, and did I mention that the soldiers are AWESOME? It’s a perfect blend of some really great stop-motion and live actors. Plus, they’re life-sized in this version so they can really do some damage. Their march leads to a great climax where they rescue the land from imminent doom. Even Barnaby takes one look and knows that he’s done for.

Speaking of, because our heroes are usually so dull in the other versions, I end up sort of rooting for Barnaby if only for the sheer fact that he has some semblance of personality. This is not the case in this one. This Barnaby is just a bastard. He’s never happy unless everyone around him is miserable, he goes out of his way to be a jerk to our heroes for the sheer satisfaction of it, and like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast, the longer he fails to get his bride, the more drastic he gets in trying to steal her. By the end he is borderline insane. Add the fact that he has an army of cave-dwelling monsters at his command and he is not someone you want to mess with.

All in all, this is a fun (and really funny) film that the whole family can sit down and enjoy together. If you’ve missed it, don’t worry, they show it again on Channel 11 on Christmas and you can watch it for free on Hulu in both black and white and in color. I should mention however that regarding the latter they’ve messed with the original opening credits in both versions AND the color one shown is from the recent edition that completely screwed up how it’s supposed to look.

 

 (Even Drew “I’m Responsible For The Greatest Movie Posters In Existence” Struzan knew they were supposed to be in pink and green, jerkwads. Not red and blue, PINK AND GREEN.)

When other Thanksgiving traditions like Gulliver’s Travels have fallen by the wayside, it warms my heart to know that this still has an audience. I feel like I’m partaking in something special when I’m watching it. This is something that my love for was passed down to me by my family, and this is something I know I will share with my children. Whenever I view it, especially with my parents, we are all suspended in time for those seventy-five minutes. We’re neither grown-ups nor children, nor mother, father and daughter. We are all of that though the names hold no meaning here. We are in Toyland, united by the bonds of family and laughter.

I really want to say more about the movie, but I’m hoping to save the details and the jokes for a full review in the future. There are a few days left before I officially announce the movie review for December, so who knows…

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. Now let’s push November aside like yesterday’s leftovers and make way for Christmas!

November Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“My dear Frodo, you once asked me if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it.”

-Bilbo Baggins, opening lines

I’m going to start this review with a very controversial statement, one that will most likely turn anyone who reads this away from my blog for good and leave it open to hordes of trolls, orcs and the like –

JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings sucks.

“Kill the geek! Kill the geek!”

Ooh, good timing, fellas! Now please put down the battering ram and let me explain.

I know these books are revered in nerd culture and literature circles around the world, but I didn’t grow up reading them. I can’t even think of a time before the Peter Jackson films where even I knew of their existence. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has. Remember how I said in my Wreck-It Ralph review that he opened the door to a lot of new things for me? Lord of the Rings was one of them. Having watched the Peter Jackson films with him (both the theatrical and extended cuts), I can swear on the shards of Narsil that they are among the greatest movies ever put on the big screen. It took something so massive and intricate that I couldn’t access it and put me right in the middle of the action. Every edit, addition and change was made to service the story and medium perfectly. I was able to get invested in these many characters and their mighty quest. The effects are a fantastic blend of both practical and digital methods that still hold up; Gollum alone is one of the best examples of modern film technology, not to mention he’s one great, tragic, flawed character. These movies may be long, but they have to be in order to get this epic story right, and half the time you barely notice you’ve been sitting on your butt for three hours because you’re so enveloped in everything happening on screen.

When fans began voicing their hopes for a movie based on the prequel to the Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, I could see why. I wanted to visit Middle-Earth again, go on a new quest, and see where it all began just as much as they did. Of course, the project was in limbo for quite a long time – long before the Lord of the Rings films were made, in fact. Peter Jackson originally approached New Line Cinema with making The Hobbit into a movie first (which makes sense seeing how that book was written first), but they insisted on him doing Lord of the Rings…in a single movie (because the last time that happened turned out so well). Jackson rightly told them it was a stupid idea and insisted on splitting the trilogy up with one movie per book. Now Jackson’s only work up until that point had been some low-grade high-gore horror movies but he had the potential to make something great and really came through for the fans (and won quite a few Oscars in the process), and they clamored for him to get back in the director’s chair for The Hobbit. At first he declined because you only have to look at the behind the scenes stuff to know how grueling directing three movies back to back is. Guillermo del Toro stepped in for a time but for whatever reason stepped back out again. There was also uncertainty as to whether or not Ian McKellen or any of the actors from the previous films would return to play their roles when, or even if the time came. It was a period of long, languishing uncertainty for the Tolkienites, until Peter Jackson decided to put aside the ranger and become who he was meant to be. With him back at the helm, the people rejoiced, and I decided to pick up JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit to prepare myself for what was to come…

…and got so bored with it I kept losing my place and nearly fell asleep eight times.

I’m not gonna lie, The Hobbit is a slog to get through (for me at least). Tolkien introduces a bunch of characters with very little actual characterization, choosing instead to focus on minutiae such as landscapes, food, robe and hood colors, food, proper elf, dwarf and hobbit decorum, food, multiple names that multiple characters have for whatever reason, food, and sitting around doing nothing until they’re suddenly thrust into an action scene that’s hard to visualize because there’s so much going on…and did I mention FOOD?! I think I knew more about what kind of jam each dwarf had for breakfast every morning than anything about the dwarves themselves. With the exception of Bilbo and Gandalf I couldn’t tell any member of the company apart from each other. From what I’ve gathered, Tolkien at the last minute tried to pass the book off as a children’s bedtime story in case nobody took it seriously. Well I’m sure it worked because any kid would fall asleep from boredom from having to listen to this drawn-out tale (at one reading Tolkien did, someone in the crowd actually shouted “Not another fucking elf!” when one entered the story. I swear I did not make that up). I eventually gave up on the book and decided to wait for the films to come out to see what happened – and unlike the book, they did not disappoint. Quite the opposite, in fact…

…I think I may like The Hobbit movies, the first one at least, more than Lord of the Rings.

Let me finish…

Like I said before, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is great. You can’t just pop it in and leave it running like any movie however. I feel like sitting down to watch them has to be a special occasion, not just because you have to devote a big part of your day to watching at least one of the films, but because of the emotional roller coaster it puts you on (I’ve watched Return of the King three times with my boyfriend, and he can tell you how much of a sobbing wreck I was at the end of each of those viewings). The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is one I’m totally fine with putting on in the background but can still get the most from it. The stakes aren’t quite as high as the previous films, but there’s still plenty of drama and action, and at times glimpses of humor and a lighter tone that I think Tolkien was trying to get across when he said this supposed to be for kids. The atmosphere and mood puts you back in Middle Earth, taking you to places both familiar and new. Plus, it managed to do what the book didn’t – it made the characters MEMORABLE. I remember each dwarf’s name and look and personality, as basic as some of those personalities are. Every one of them gets at least one moment in the films that allow them to shine, and even if one of their names happens to slip my mind, I can still point to one and remember whom they are. Case in point – here is the company of dwarves as seen in the Rankin-Bass version of The Hobbit.

And here they are from the Peter Jackson films.

Now look away from the screen for a bit. Which set sticks out in your mind more?

…

…

…

I’m going to pretend you have the same answer as I do and say I thought so.

So, if I may amend my previous statement, JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit suck.

Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit do not.

We open our film in the home of Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, who lives in a home in the ground in a part of Middle Earth known as The Shire. Hobbits are people that are slightly smaller than humans and don’t wear shoes due to large hairy feet (yet surprisingly nothing’s ever come up in any of the books or films about them getting splinters or cuts from walking around barefoot all the time). They enjoy the simple comforts of home and tend to not get themselves involved in the doings of the rest of the world. Bilbo, who is approaching is 111th birthday, starts writing a book based on an adventure he went on many years ago, which he narrates to us, beginning with a brief history of the dwarf kingdom of Erebor. I have to say we’re off to a promising start. The dramatic flashback and narration is similar to how Galadriel’s narration kicked off things in The Fellowship of the Ring and just as effective. Also Ian Holm, who plays Bilbo, looks as though he hasn’t aged a day since he played him nearly ten years ago. Actually, is it me or does he look younger?

The one on the left is from Fellowship of the Ring (2001). The one on the right is from An Unexpected Journey. Seriously, would you have known if you hadn’t read the caption?

Anyway, years ago Erebor was one of the most prosperous kingdoms of Middle Earth due to the dwarves’ successful mining operations in the Lonely Mountain and commerce with the nearby city of Dale. It’s ruled by the dwarf king Thror and everything is going absolutely peachy…that is until the miners come across a fabulous jewel hidden deep in the mountain, the Arkenstone. Thror takes it as a sign that his rule and lineage is ensured and has every race of Middle Earth come pay homage to him. This includes the elf king Thranduil.

Now before we go any further, I’d like to point out that the version I’m reviewing is the director’s cut, meaning more scenes are added that can completely change another scene’s context. This is the case with this scene. In the theatrical and general dvd release, we jump from Thranduil approaching Thror on his throne to Thror enjoying his lavish riches. A few minutes later, when the dwarves turn to Thranduil for help after Smaug attacks, he just turns away from them for no real reason, making him look like a jerk (more so than he already is in these movies). In the extended cut, we see why he does that – apparently Thror promised to give Thranduil a rare treasure that was promised to his people, a chest full of diamonds that glitter like stars, but at the last minute Thror got greedy and kept the diamonds for himself. As Bilbo says, each race tells the story differently, but the one thing that can be agreed upon is that it started the eternal petty conflict between elves and dwarves. And things just get better from there.

Thror begins to amass his wealth and becomes more consumed by the sickness of greed, which worries his grandson, Thorin (Richard Armitage).

“Yesterday he tried jumping into his gold from a diving board. Claimed he saw a duck do it once. Now he’s been in the hospital for six weeks saying nothing but “Woo-hoo woo-hoo!” “

Now the moments in Erebor are atmospheric, and that one look Thorin gives says everything without actually saying anything at all. But as good as the writing and narration has been so far, this is where we get one line that is a major hiccup. Sit yourselves down for this one, are you ready? Good. Proceed.

“And where sickness thrives…bad things will follow.“

Wow. No, seriously, wow. I know this is something so minor to get hung up over, but Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh have won Oscars for their screenplays in the previous Lord of the Rings films, so I’m a bit flabbergasted as to how this was the best they could come up with. I have to stop the movie and go “Wait, WHAT?!” most of the time when I watch it that’s how much it jars me out of the experience. I’m sure somewhere George Lucas is nodding in approval, and as we’ve seen in the past couple of decades, that’s not always a good thing.

Your November Review Is…

I’ll be brief – this starting reviews in advance thing is an excellent idea, especially since this month’s vote was a near-unanimous one for an almost three-hour long film.

Your review for the month of November is –

In a hole in the ground, there lived a second bankable Tolkien trilogy a hobbit…

Now, dear readers, is where we come to a crossroads. I can already tell many of you will want me to review The Desolation of Smaug next seeing as how that immediately follows An Unexpected Journey, which is perfectly understandable. However, there is the small matter of a certain FORCE that AWAKENS sometime in December that is a continuation of another iconic film trilogy, and this couldn’t be a better time for me to go back to where it all began and reminisce on why it’s so beloved (as well as build up more hype for TFA). Not to mention this is the holiday season and I do have more than one movie on the shelf that are perfectly suitable for this occasion.

So if I might make a few recommendations for December…

• The Hobbit:The Desolation of Smaug
• March of the Wooden Soldiers (Babes in Toyland, 1934)
• Star Wars: A New Hope
• Rise of the Guardians
• Frozen
• An American Tail
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
• The Sound of Music

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Thank you for voting. Cast your vote for December’s review by leaving a comment on what film you want to see or by emailing me at upontheshelfshow@gmail.com. Remember, you can find what films are available for reviewing by clicking on “What’s On the Shelf”, and you can only vote once a month.