• About/FAQ
  • Christmas Shelf!
  • What’s On The Shelf

Up On The Shelf

~ You Vote, I Watch, I Review

Up On The Shelf

Monthly Archives: February 2018

Gravity Falls Review: “Weirdmageddon Part 3: Take Back The Falls” (S2E20)

16 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by UpOnTheShelf in Disney, Gravity Falls Reviews, TV Reviews

≈ 3 Comments

IMG_8464

“There, that’s the last bit of unicorn hair we need.”

avbm007(alt)

“Bravo, Ms. Shelf! How on earth were you able to acquire such a rarity?”

IMG_8464

“Well, it wasn’t easy. Those unicorns really took what I said about them in “The Last Mabelcorn” to heart. Apologies were in order…and I had to promise I’d seriously consider reviewing a certain magical equine series once this mess is wrapped up.”

gollum4

“If we make this out alive, I’m gonna have SO much fun ripping into Flurry Heart.”

IMG_8464

“We’ll worry about who’s reviewing what when the time comes. There’s just one more thing.”

IMG_8464

“The deal I technically made with Bill granted me near anonymity with my reviews; no photos, no talking to a camera. Barely anyone out there knows what I really look like. If we defeat him, the deal ends, and I’m exposed.”

avbm007(alt)

“Well, it can’t be as bad as all that, can it? It’d be nice to have a face to go along with these reviews you’ve been faithfully inscribing these past three years.”

IMG_8464

“I know, Baron. But what if I disappoint people with how I look? Or what if a recruiter or an important company person looking for someone to do the kind of work I want to do recognizes me here, and my writing turns them away from hiring me?”

avbm007(alt)

“It’s as you just said; we’ll deal with it when the time comes. Don’t you want to be free of this tiny plastic prison William has sequestered you in?”

IMG_8464

“I…yeah, I do. One way or another, Bill’s going down. And I for one can’t think of a better day to deliver his geometric ass on a platter to him.”

gollum3

“And what exactly is so special about today, if I may ask?”


GF0217-11

Hello again, fleshbags! It turns out the Olympics are really boring, especially once they get into that “ain’t world peace and cooperation great” baloney. So I figured on today, the two year anniversary of my ultimate triumph, I’ll take a look back and revisit my moments of glory as your universe fell on to its knees and accepted me as its true lord and master for all eternity.

What? You don’t remember it going down that way? Someone needs to get their head checked, heh heh heh.

ALLOW ME.

Continue reading →

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Gravity Falls Reviews: “Weirdmageddon Part 2 – Escape From Reality”

13 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by UpOnTheShelf in Disney, Gravity Falls Reviews, TV Reviews

≈ 3 Comments

GF0219-11

“Boss, aren’t you gonna continue reviewing the rest of Weirdmageddon?”

GF0217-11

“Pfft, why review something I already lived, Eight-Ball? Besides, the Olympics are on. I’ve got a bet with Pyronica to see which team crashes and burns the most.”

GF0219-11

“But what if someone else gets to it first, like that Shelf reviewer?”

GF0217-11

“Oh don’t worry, freak. Mabel’s bubble was one of the most diabolical things I ever concocted, and the episode surrounding it is no different for any reviewer…especially her…”


 

IMG_8461

“Argh! The key to stopping Bill is right there, I can feel it! I just wish I had something more to go on than his narcissistic ramblings.”

avbm007(alt)

“Perhaps looking at the next episode in the lineup might help?”

IMG_8461

“Well, Bill’s barely in that one, but all right. Can’t think of anything particularly useful I can do at the moment anyway.”

Continuing from the previous episode, Soos, Wendy and Dipper enter the bubble Bill has imprisoned Mabel in –

gollum3

“Uh, not to harp on continuity, but don’t you usually do a “Previously on Gravity Falls” before each recap?”

Previously on Gravity Falls: Bill has merged his dimension with ours, it’s the endtimes, Dipper’s got to find and rescue Mabel so they can figure out what to do next, blah blah blah.
Go here to catch up on Gravity Falls from the beginning.

gollum3

“How insightful.”

IMG_8461

“You’re not the one writing the review without looking over your shoulder for Bill every five minutes, Cynicism.”

Continue reading →

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Gravity Falls Reviews: Weirdmageddon Part 1 (S2E18) (As Translated by Up On the Shelf)

09 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by UpOnTheShelf in Disney, Gravity Falls Reviews, TV Reviews

≈ 1 Comment

avbm007(alt)

“Ms. Shelf, thank heavens we found you! Are you all right?”

IMG_8461

“Well seeing as how I’ve spent the past few weeks trapped inside a vinyl figure forced to watch as a being of infinite nightmares wreaks havoc on my blog, I gotta say Baron, things could be better.”

gollum3

“Good to hear. Now all we have to worry about is how to get rid of Triangle Man without him turning our heads into jelly.”

IMG_8461

“True, though I have a feeling Bill would be more dangerously creative than just old-fashioned jello-fication. Actually, the more I think about it, why would Bill attempt another takeover in a fashion similar to his first? I mean, apart from ultimate power and domination it makes no sense, not even for a being like him.”

avbm007(alt)

“Perhaps his most recent ramblings could give us some insight. Unfortunately I’ve attempted to translate it from Greek, Russian, Latin, and even French, and the answers have still eluded me.”

IMG_8461

“Lemme take a look…”

IMG_8461

“If my guess is correct, that’s not another language. It’s a code! All we’d have to do is run it through a translator and we’re golden!”

gollum3

“Think you could do the honors? Not everyone’s got the patience or time on their hands that you have.”

IMG_8461

*sigh* “Nice to know that Weirdmageddon hasn’t changed you either, Cynicism.”


What? You never watch Gravity Falls before? HAHAHAHA what a loser!

Previously on Gravity Falls: I, the glorious and now three-dimensional Bill Cipher cleverly manipulated a bunch of dumb humans into releasing me from my pitiful Nightmare Realm into their dimension! Yesterday Gravity Falls, today this blog, tomorrow the cosmos!

GF0217-11

Hey kids! It’s your old pal Bill Cipher, and I’m taking control of this blog now! Who wants to hear about how I began to conquer the universe?!

Having finally achieved physical form I introduce myself and my crew of interdimensional nightmares to my new fleshy subjects and tell them we’re calling the shots in this world now. Yet they make the big mistake of vowing to defy me; all except Preston Northwest, who for one welcomes his new triangular overlord and is more than happy to push other less rich lifeforms under the bus to save his own skin. Of course what he doesn’t know is that I recognize a professional ass kisser when I see one, and I reward him as such.

GF0218-02

I plan on doing the same thing to Trump when I come to collect on the deal we made back in ’16, except I’m switching his mouth with his ass to see if anyone can tell the difference!

With that loser out of the way, I begin decorating this normal little sad sack of an existence – stopping time, madness bubbles in the air, eyeball bats turning people into stone so they can make up my throne, and a giant pyramid in the sky to crash in. It’s the little things that make a place feel like home.

Now who wants to count how many satanic messages I’ve hidden in this special intro? First one to watch without blinking loses their soul!

Continue reading →

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Meanwhile…

09 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by UpOnTheShelf in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

“Shelf! SHELF!!! Where is she…any luck, Baron?”

avbm007(alt)

“No, I was distracted by an old acquaintance who then inexplicably turned from a beautiful lady into a rotund winged fellow, and then into a strange mechanical man who told me to do something to his shining metal posterior which one doesn’t repeat in polite conversation.”

gollum3

“Yeesh, don’t envy you there. It’s hopeless. She vanished right after Bill arrived. You don’t think she ditched us, do you?”

avbm007(alt)

“Madam, you do your counterpart a disservice! She would never abandon us in this hour of need. Are quite sure you searched all the places where she can normally be found? If not then it’s unfortunately rather likely this Bill must have entrapped her so he could move forward with his nefarious plans.”

gollum5

“Geez, how many times do I have to tell you, I searched the entire house! Up and down, in and out, every nook and cranny! All I could find in her room was this Mabel figure right in front of her computer -“

gollum4

“…Ohhhhhhhh……”

TO BE CONTINUED…

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...
Follow Up On The Shelf on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 63 other subscribers
Xmas Review Votes Due:November 25, 2021

Archives

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015

  • Follow Following
    • Up On The Shelf
    • Join 60 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Up On The Shelf
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: