“There, that’s the last bit of unicorn hair we need.”
“Bravo, Ms. Shelf! How on earth were you able to acquire such a rarity?”
“Well, it wasn’t easy. Those unicorns really took what I said about them in “The Last Mabelcorn” to heart. Apologies were in order…and I had to promise I’d seriously consider reviewing a certain magical equine series once this mess is wrapped up.”
“If we make this out alive, I’m gonna have SO much fun ripping into Flurry Heart.”
“We’ll worry about who’s reviewing what when the time comes. There’s just one more thing.”
“The deal I technically made with Bill granted me near anonymity with my reviews; no photos, no talking to a camera. Barely anyone out there knows what I really look like. If we defeat him, the deal ends, and I’m exposed.”
“Well, it can’t be as bad as all that, can it? It’d be nice to have a face to go along with these reviews you’ve been faithfully inscribing these past three years.”
“I know, Baron. But what if I disappoint people with how I look? Or what if a recruiter or an important company person looking for someone to do the kind of work I want to do recognizes me here, and my writing turns them away from hiring me?”
“It’s as you just said; we’ll deal with it when the time comes. Don’t you want to be free of this tiny plastic prison William has sequestered you in?”
“I…yeah, I do. One way or another, Bill’s going down. And I for one can’t think of a better day to deliver his geometric ass on a platter to him.”
“And what exactly is so special about today, if I may ask?”
Hello again, fleshbags! It turns out the Olympics are really boring, especially once they get into that “ain’t world peace and cooperation great” baloney. So I figured on today, the two year anniversary of my ultimate triumph, I’ll take a look back and revisit my moments of glory as your universe fell on to its knees and accepted me as its true lord and master for all eternity.
What? You don’t remember it going down that way? Someone needs to get their head checked, heh heh heh.
ALLOW ME.
