So…2020. That certainly was…a year.

Look, it’s pointless to reiterate how much of a colossal trainwreck it was. We’re all eager to move on and embrace all the hope and possibilities that 2021 has to offer, and this blog is no exception. Despite my schedule clearing up so suddenly early on, I got nowhere near as much writing done here as I hoped I would. Hell, it took me five days after New Years Day just to finish this. I feel like I’ve done more apologizing for running late than I’ve done any actual posting and I can’t…well, apologize enough for that. I was hit with a perfect storm of burnout, writers’ block, pressure, other responsibilities and general anxiety about my health, my family’s health, and the state of the world almost simultaneously, and it wrecked most of my plans for what was supposed to be the blog’s big fifth year.

And yet, despite every nervous cell in my brain telling me I wasn’t going to make it, here I am.

Here we are.

We made it.

We (barely) survived Coronavirus with a vaccine now on the way. We (barely) got through four years of Trump and utterly squashed the threat of four more. I taught an art class and fully developed two children’s books while getting started on several more. I bounced back into video editing. I even helped edit a podcast (Channel KRT, please check them out). Hamilton came to Disney+. Animal Crossing returned with an adorable wholesome vengeance as did Pikmin and apparently Pokemon Snap very soon. We got a kickass Princess Bride reunion/cast reading. TikTok actually spawned something creative and positive in the fan-made Ratatouille musical. People from across the globe banded together to fight racism. Thanks to Zoom I’m closer than ever to family and friends whom I haven’t spoken to in years. For all the overwhelming bad that 2020 brought to our doorstep, it brought a surprising amount of good with it, too.

And despite the false starts and panicking and chronic lateness, you stuck with me throughout it. Amelia, Gordhan, Sam, I have no words to properly convey my thanks for giving me the financial support I needed. And to everyone else who read and commented and liked what I had to say about random movies, I appreciate your readership and encouragement. Thank you.

Of course, I know the real reason why you’re here, to read silly summations of everything I reviewed in 2020! Yes, I promised I’d make that a yearly tradition, and it’s one I intend to keep. I’m also going to be sharing my plans for 2021 and one more bit of pleasant news that helped 2020 end on a personal high note. So stick around, because it’s time for Return of The Poorly Explained Movie (and Holiday Shorts/TV Episode) Plots!

Fantasia 2000: Disney tries to make a sequel to a classic movie decades later that borrows a lot from the original, a mistake they would never make again.

Sleeping Beauty: Forces of good and evil endanger an entire kingdom over whether or not a princess catches her twenty winks.

Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash: The Harry Potter book we should have gotten instead of Order of the Pheonix and Half-Blood Prince.

The Pagemaster: A bookworm overcomes his pantophobia by learning to like books.

The Great Race: Looney Tunes meets Mario Kart with gender dynamics.

Corpse Bride: Love in the time of necrophilia.

Pluto’s Christmas Tree: Flanderized Mickey ruins everything.

Richard Williams’ A Christmas Carol: Guilt-tripping ghosts come out to criticize.

Ducktales: Last Christmas!: Scrooge’s crazy jealous boyfriend tries to kidnap him while Dewey gets some quality time with the mom who abandoned him.

Home Alone*: Two men check in on an abandoned child only to be beaten and arrested.

So here’s how it’s gonna go for the foreseeable future: first, I am tying up all loose ends. Publishing the Home Alone review and the belated fifth anniversary review will be my main priority. Following that, movie reviews will go on an indefinite hiatus so I can start writing and releasing my retrospective of Faerie Tale Theatre that I promised I’d start last spring as a result of the Charity Votes for COVID-19. Once they’re ready, expect a more steady schedule.

And what’s this? Why, we seem to have a new animated Disney movie coming out very soon! Surely there must be some way to mark the occasion…

As happy as I am to put 2020 behind me, there’s still one more thing to come from it that I am grateful for. I wanted to save him for last because he’s part of what capped the year’s last-minute redemption arc.

Ladies, gentlemen, and friends of nonbinary persuasion, I’m proud to introduce you to…

Mikey.

Officially my fur baby as of December 4th 2020, thanks to a foster mom who turned out to be my first grade teacher of all people, Mikey is my world now. Getting him used to his new home is part of why the Christmas reviews kind of went off the rails towards the end. He’s mostly settled now, and he’s a mischievous little sweetheart.

So that’s it from me. Thanks again for your patronage and patience, and I look forward to sharing what I have to offer for the new year. Hope yours is a happy and rewarding one.

Play us out, MGMT.

* – When the Home Alone review comes out, just pretend that I got it done in time for Christmas.