June Review: Clash of the Titans (1981)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“As long as man shall walk earth and search the night sky in wonder, they will remember the courage of Perseus forever. Even if we the gods are abandoned and forgotten, the stars shall never fade.”
– Zeus

I can’t recall if I ever mentioned it before, but I’m big on fairy tales, folktales and myths. I’ve always been fascinated by how different cultures interpret familiar stories, or use them to relay well-worn morals or their take on how the world was formed. When I was a kid a friend of my parents gave me a copy of D’Auliere’s Greek Myths (which is a must-own for anyone who enjoys these classic stories) and I ate it up like the diminutive bookworm I was, but it wasn’t my first exposure to the pantheon of Greek legends. No, that was a film I saw when I was just seven years old, one that has left an indelible imprint on the collective subconscious of anyone exposed to it at a young age and has since become a cult classic for its take on one of the most famous Greek myths of all time.

Now I wouldn’t call Hercules one of my top ten favorite Disney films, but its zany animation, fun characters and catchy music make for a fun viewing experience. Of course, being Disney, they left out all the family-unfriendly aspects of the original tale and reshaped it into what’s essentially a modern-Grecian take on the Superman/Moses story, but I’m not one to complain about that. You try making an animated film where the main character kills his wife and family in a bout of insanity brought on by his jealous stepmother and literally works himself to death trying to make up for it. Truth be told, about 90% of Greek myths involving heroes follow a similar plot – Zeus gets it on with a mortal, has a child out of wedlock, said mortal gets punished by Zeus’ wife Hera (because victim blaming really is a centuries-old practice), and the new demigod is gifted with special powers or weapons to fight tons of foes but still winds up with a fairly ironic and tragic demise. The one exception to this is the story of Perseus, which is the basis of the film we’ll be looking at today.

Now mythology is no stranger to the man behind Clash of the Titans, legendary stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen. His other notable Greek outing, Jason and the Argonauts, is considered one of the most thrilling sword and sandal epics to have held up for the past fifty years, and is worth seeing for the skeleton battle alone (it also happens to be the favorite film of Sheriff Woody himself, Tom Hanks). In addition he created and animated puppets for the original Mighty Joe Young, the Sinbad movies, One Million Years BC, and more. Though he never directed any of them, these movies are forever associated with the name Harryhausen. CGI would eventually come along to push new boundaries in the field of effects animation, but his work has left an indelible imprint on many a future filmmaker, with big names like Pixar and Tim Burton namedropping him in some their own films. For a time Steven Spielburg even considered bringing many of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park to life using stop-motion, clearly inspired by the dinosaurs that were featured in Harryhausen’s works.

Clash of the Titans was the last film Harryhausen made before he went into retirement, and it holds all his trademarks, both good and bad. So, did his career end on a high note, or does the movie fall to pieces like a poorly made Play-Doh sculpture? Let’s find out.

April Review: Peter Pan (1953)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“All this has happened before. And it will all happen again.”
– Opening lines

No truer words have ever been spoken.

JM Barrie’s Peter Pan is as timeless a fantasy story as you can get. It’s nothing short of pure magic. Who among us hasn’t wished to never grow up and live in a world not run by fun-sucking adults? Who can openly admit that they never dreamed of flying and going on exciting new adventures every day? The tale of Peter Pan appeals to the kid in all of us. It doesn’t surprise me that every couple of years we seem to get some kind of new retelling of it because the lore of the Boy Who Never Grew Up offers so many possibilities. It’s difficult to pin down which version could be considered the most definitive adaptation (though the 2003 film comes the closest to being the most faithful in story and tone) but this is a case where every single one out there has something to offer for each generation. There were stage plays and silent films for those who were children when the book first came out, the 1960’s musical starring Mary Martin (and later Cathy Rigby) was an annual television tradition for decades, Fox’s Peter Pan and the Pirates is considered one of the most creative animated shows of the late 80’s-early 90’s, Steven Spielburg’s unofficial sequel Hook has gone on to become a cult classic (as well as a kickass video game), and of course we have the film I’ll be looking at today, the Disney animated one from the 50’s.

Walt Disney once played the role of Peter Pan in a school production; as such, the story was very close to him. Peter Pan was planned to be one of the first animated films his studio would release – story ideas were tossed around as early as the mid-30’s – but it fell into development hell thanks to the frenzy of World War 2. Look carefully when watching the 1941 film The Reluctant Dragon and you’ll see early maquette versions of some of the characters in a few places. After the much-needed success of Cinderella in 1950, work resumed on Peter Pan. The results, however, were mixed, with some critics and even Walt himself being disappointed with the final product. Most audiences, on the other hand, gravitated towards it, and today it’s considered a classic of Disney animation as well as one of the most outstanding adaptations of Barrie’s work. Why is that? Let’s find out.

February Review: The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Well, this has been an…interesting few months hasn’t it? 2016 refused to leave without taking a few more beloved stars with it, we saw a changing of the guard that has everyone either flocking to the church or the streets, heck, the last few weeks alone has thrown the world into such uncertainty and madness that I just want to lose myself in a bit of escapism that has nothing to do with what’s going on outside right now.

I’ve got it! Harry Potter! I love those movies. There’s nothing more magical and escapist than the tale of a boy who discovers he’s a wizard and goes to school and fights an evil power-mad sorcerer whose followers share his outspoken racism and Nazi-like methods of suppression…

Maybe a comedy is what I need. Something timeless and hilarious, like the Marx Brothers. Those guys are great! Their best movie is this one called Duck Soup where Groucho suddenly becomes president of an entire nation, puts a bunch of his crazy inept friends on his cabinet, and his loud mouth and ego plunges his country into a giant war…

You know, there’s a number of unappreciated animated gems I have on my Shelf, and one of them is Twice Upon a Time. Only recently released to DVD after years of petitioning from fans, it tells the tale of a mime and an Animorph with the voice of Garfield trying to stop a foulmouthed despotic little madman from turning the world into an inescapable bomb-ridden nightmare and OKAY THIS JOKE IS DONE.

The point is it’s been bloody difficult to find almost any form of entertainment that doesn’t feel touched by current events in any way. Many films that I usually enjoy in times of crisis have served as reminders of the world we’re living in now. Indiana Jones? Makes me wish that dealing with meddlesome Nazis was as simple as finding and opening the Ark of the Covenant. Star Wars? Hard to look at objectively now that my country has officially become the Empire. Disney? Bob Iger is on the council of a certain Oompa Loompa reject and is too afraid of losing profits if he stands up to his tangerine overlord.  I just…I just want something that can raise my spirits. Something other people in the film community and the public can get behind. A symbol.

Something that appeals to the best of us.

Something good.

Something decent.

Something pure.

Something…classic.

Huh. Good thing I already put the film’s name in the title.

September Review: Zootopia (2016)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“Tell me if this sounds familiar – naive little kid with good grades and big ideals says ‘Hey look at me, I’m gonna move to Zootopia where predators and prey live in harmony and sing Kumbaya!’…Only to find, whoopsie! We don’t all get along.”

-Nick Wilde, stating the film’s premise in a nutshell

Sigh…

Have you ever had an idea for something, something you knew was right up your alley, that you could pull off spectacularly without having to rely on anyone else’s words or opinions or worry about stealing someone else’s punchlines, only to have someone with more experience and followers not only beat you to it but do it in such a way that YOU look like the copycat?

Because I did.

When I announced that I’d be going on hiatus until September and returning with a surprise movie of my own choosing, I already had a movie in mind – Disney’s latest animated hit Zootopia.

Then a short time later, Unshaved Mouse announced he would be going on hiatus and returning with Zootopia (or Zootropolis as it’s called in some countries). I’ve mentioned before he’s one of my influences, but it’s especially hard to review Disney movies because I’ve noticed we have similar tastes and opinions when it comes to them (Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan and Chicken Little notwithstanding), and, I have to admit, Zootopia is just another one he wrote long before I could, and even better than me at that.

Yeah I’m a bit miffed that someone beat me to the punch, but there’s plenty of things to talk about when it comes to Zootopia that can’t be covered in one review, and that’s a GOOD thing! This movie should be talked about, not just by fans or Disney lovers or even furries, but people in general. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Disney openly address issues that are alarmingly relevant today in any of their films (Hunchback came close, but it wasn’t the central focus). In a climate where racism, homophobia, and misogyny is out in the open, even in my country which prides itself on being the land of the free and home of the brave, Zootopia is a film that needed to be made. It’d be easy to write it off as a cute talking animal movie (hell, the first few trailers made it look like something shipped out of Dreamworks), but because it uses the animal society as an allegory, it works wonders. This was a movie a long time in the making and it shows; not only is the storytelling tight but Disney’s long climb to make good CGI-animated films pays off in spades. The animation’s elastic and cartoony when it needs to be while staying true to each animal’s anatomy, and the designs combine the big-eyed softness of the 90’s with the aesthetics of movies like The Jungle Book and Robin Hood.

But don’t take my word for it…even though I’m the one writing the review so it is my word. How good is Zootopia?

The movie opens on a surprisingly dark note with scary music and a darkened jungle. A cute little rabbit hops through the undergrowth, unaware that it is being stalked by a savage predator just out of sight. The predator attacks in a frenzy of blood and gore!

Damn, this movie EARNS its PG rating!

No, it’s just a school play put on by a group of young animals, one that exposits the story of the world we’re in, Zootopia – over time, animals evolved from savage predator and meek prey to overcome their biological urges and live in harmony. As someone who’s watched and been in a lot of these kinds of pageants, they get the awkward acting and scene changes down perfectly. Also, providing the background music, we have the unsung hero of the movie.

Behold, the humble beginnings of Keyboard Cat.

The rabbit, Judy Hopps, tells the audience that in Zootopia, animals are free to be what they want to, and reveals that she wants to be the first bunny cop. After the show her parents (Bonnie Hunt and Don Lake) try to discourage her dreams in a way that’s both heartbreakingly honest and yet comically brutal. While they prattle on about the joys of complacency, Judy notices some of her friends’ fair tickets being stolen by local bully Gideon Gray, a Southern-accented fox with a big ego and violent streak who…

Hang on a second!

We’ll get to YOU later, you demented little munchkin.

Judy tries to stand up to Gideon but he mocks her because he’s a predator and the urge to kill is still in his DNA, while she’s just a dumb cowardly bunny. It gets surprisingly intense as he knocks her to the ground and scratches her face. He snarls at her to remember this moment when she thinks she can be anything other than what she is. Now when I heard that the first few minutes of the film would be scary for younger kids, I thought that there would be some kind of horrific accident or traumatizing death along the lines of, you know, the usual parental loss that spurs a number of Disney animated movies. I did not expect this one bit. I may have mentioned once or twice that I was bullied as a kid –

“I’ll go put Dr. Angela on standby.”

Will you get out of here?!

Anyway, though my experiences were more psychological and verbal than physical, they still run pretty deep when invoked, and this scene captures the intensity and fear of when you’re humiliated and put down at the hands of someone stronger than you.

Judy’s determination does not go unrewarded, however. She swiped the tickets from Gideon while he was monologuing and tells her friends that he was right about one thing  – she doesn’t know when to quit.

“Just ask my third grade teacher!”

“She never knew when to quit.”

Cut to an adult Judy (Ginnifer Goodwin) attending police academy and having more than a hard time working with a regimen fit for larger and more brutal animals. Through sheer willpower, the use of her own size and agility against her bigger opponents and one Mulan-worthy training montage, she graduates the top of her class. At the ceremony overseen by Mayor Lionheart (JK Simmons), we learn that Judy’s induction was part of a “mammal inclusion initiative”, not unlike Affirmative-Action programs we have in the states. Assistant Mayor Bellweather (Jenny Slate) gives her her badge and comments on how “it’s a great day for us little guys” before Lionheart pushes her away for a photo op.

“Bad guy! Bad guy! She’s the bad guy!”

Oh come on Cynicism, just because Disney did the whole third-act bad guy switcheroo for its past three movies doesn’t mean they’ll do it a fourth time. In a movie that’s as progressive as Zootopia,they wouldn’t be that repetitive, right?

“I don’t know, you’re the one who’s practicing screenwriting in between five-hour periods of Sort the Court. You should know how these things work by now.”

Anyway, Judy bids her family a fond farewell at the train where they act as all concerned parents do when their kids go off to the city and…give her a taser to keep foxes at bay. They remind her of the incident with Gideon when she was a kid, but Judy tells them that Gideon was a jerk who happened to be a fox, and she knows plenty of bunnies that are jerks (sound familiar?). Judy mollifies them by taking some fox pepper spray (seriously, I know there’s racism against other species – specism? – but who the hell gives the right to make products intended to cause harm to one particular animal in this kind of world?!) and she hops on the train that takes her out of the Bunny Boroughs to the heart of Zootopia. And what follows…my God.

December Review: Rise of the Guardians (2012)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“My name is Jack Frost and I’m a Guardian. How do I know that? Because the moon told me so.”

-Jack Frost

Dreamworks – what can you say about them? They’re powerful rivals to Disney and Pixar but I almost never hear anyone say they come close to what those studios produce on a regular basis. I have a theory about this.

You see, one of Dreamworks’ founders was Jeffrey Katzenberg, the former head of animation at Disney and one of the men behind the Renaissance period in the late 80’s-early 90’s. I’m not going to go into why he left or the studio politics at the time of his departure because it’s way too long and complicated, but the point is after leaving Disney, Katzenberg wanted to create an animation studio that could compete with them and produce the stories that Disney couldn’t touch, movies that could be identified as nothing else but Dreamworks. It took them quite a while to find the perfect Dreamworks formula and in that time between its foundation and when they did discover it, they weren’t afraid to experiment. The Prince of Egypt and The Road to El Dorado are gorgeously animated masterworks, and while the timing of Antz’ release is a little too coincidental with the release of A Bug’s Life, I’d say Chicken Run more than makes up for it with its cheeky humor and creativity (though I tend to consider it more of an Aardman film than a Dreamworks film).

Then along came Shrek in 2001. It was a hit with audiences and critics, became the first Best Animated Feature Oscar winner, inspired dozens of truly horrifying memes, and in the words of Katzenberg himself, was what a Dreamworks movie could and should be.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Shrek, I truly do, but now that I’m older I can see how much I was manipulated as a kid into liking it by the barrage of marketing showing how edgy it was compared to Disney fare at the time. Speaking of Disney, if you know anything about Katzenberg’s feelings towards the company (especially its then-CEO Michael Eisner), the movie takes on a more unpleasant tone, like Katzenberg is flipping a huge middle finger towards the studio that got him to where he is in the first place throughout. The sequels and spinoffs may have made the Shrek franchise inescapable for a while, but they’ve mostly aged better than the first film has. Shrek 2 handled the modern-day/Disney fairytale parody much better in my opinion, and the musical version manages to give the characters much more heart and development* (every horrible thing you’ve heard about Shrek the Third is true though; for the love of all that is good and holy avoid it like the plague).

Getting back on topic, watch this or any random Dreamworks movie that came afterward and you can bet that all of these rules that go into making it will come into play –

1. Assemble a cast of celebrities (voice acting experience not required; the bigger names the better regardless of whether or not they act at all)
2. Infuse your soundtrack with pop songs with one classic hit as your main theme that will be played ad nauseum (Hans Zimmer or Harry Gregson-Williams must also provide the score)
3. Make as many references pertaining to what’s popular right now or within the past few years. The more the better, especially if they go completely over young kids’ heads
4. Your hero must be a totally hip dude who’s always with it but nobody ever gives a chance or an average joe that everyone puts down because he’s really a special snowflake
5. End every movie with a dance party
6. END EVERY MOVIE WITH A DANCE PARTY

It’s catering to a formula like this that makes me worry that this is why people are more ready to consider animation a distraction for children rather than an art form. Rather than present something with a long shelf-life that everyone can enjoy regardless of age, it chooses to focus on what will make them the most money now by playing to the lowest common denominator with juvenile humor and references that nobody will understand or find funny even five years from its release. When this formula worked with Shrek, everyone tried to copy it, even Disney. By now it’s been used so many times I’m surprised it hasn’t made the studio collapse on itself (though it has come close several times).

My theory is this – for every couple of films that follows the Dreamworks formula or is a sequel to one of them, there is one that manages to capture that era of beauty that first helped get the studio off the ground and succeeds in balancing it out. More often than not it can put a spin on that formula to make it work in a non-manipulative way. Kung-Fu Panda looked like an ordinary Dreamworks film but evolved into something creative and funny and genuinely beautiful. How to Train Your Dragon was the same (something they both have in common is that their second movies manage to blow the first out of the water and I’m scared to death that the upcoming third installations in their franchises will be a repeat of Shrek the Third). Rise of the Guardians is among those rare and wonderful films.

Based on the Guardians of Childhood series of books by William Joyce (better known as the creator of Rollie Pollie Ollie and The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore), this movie is as far from traditional Dreamworks as you can get…but there’s also no other way to describe it but Dreamworks. Its look is unlike any other in the usual style, the story is very inventive, the lore is fascinating, the emotional stakes are high, and having it produced by Guillermo del Toro certainly gives it a lot of credit as well (now if only he would get around to doing Hellboy 3).

Unfortunately, stunning visuals and creative story doesn’t always guarantee a box office smash. Lots of films hinge on good marketing or word of mouth to sell them and sadly this film had neither. There were a few fans, but not enough to save it. It also came out at the perfect time – holiday season 2012 – but it ended up getting swept under the rug and was considered a bomb by Dreamworks. As a result, the executives were forced to start handing out pink slips to many talented artists and had to go back to that always reliable Dreamworks formula to save them from bankruptcy.

To put it in perspective, Rise of the Guardians made $306,941,670 domestically. Turbo, made $282,500,000 worldwide, but Katzenburg also gave it a Netflix series to squeeze even more potential revenue from it (and people wonder why I’m so determined to drive snails to the endangered species list).

So is this movie really the big bomb the studio who made it wrote it off as? Let’s take a look.

November Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“My dear Frodo, you once asked me if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it.”

-Bilbo Baggins, opening lines

I’m going to start this review with a very controversial statement, one that will most likely turn anyone who reads this away from my blog for good and leave it open to hordes of trolls, orcs and the like –

JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings sucks.

“Kill the geek! Kill the geek!”

Ooh, good timing, fellas! Now please put down the battering ram and let me explain.

I know these books are revered in nerd culture and literature circles around the world, but I didn’t grow up reading them. I can’t even think of a time before the Peter Jackson films where even I knew of their existence. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has. Remember how I said in my Wreck-It Ralph review that he opened the door to a lot of new things for me? Lord of the Rings was one of them. Having watched the Peter Jackson films with him (both the theatrical and extended cuts), I can swear on the shards of Narsil that they are among the greatest movies ever put on the big screen. It took something so massive and intricate that I couldn’t access it and put me right in the middle of the action. Every edit, addition and change was made to service the story and medium perfectly. I was able to get invested in these many characters and their mighty quest. The effects are a fantastic blend of both practical and digital methods that still hold up; Gollum alone is one of the best examples of modern film technology, not to mention he’s one great, tragic, flawed character. These movies may be long, but they have to be in order to get this epic story right, and half the time you barely notice you’ve been sitting on your butt for three hours because you’re so enveloped in everything happening on screen.

When fans began voicing their hopes for a movie based on the prequel to the Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, I could see why. I wanted to visit Middle-Earth again, go on a new quest, and see where it all began just as much as they did. Of course, the project was in limbo for quite a long time – long before the Lord of the Rings films were made, in fact. Peter Jackson originally approached New Line Cinema with making The Hobbit into a movie first (which makes sense seeing how that book was written first), but they insisted on him doing Lord of the Rings…in a single movie (because the last time that happened turned out so well). Jackson rightly told them it was a stupid idea and insisted on splitting the trilogy up with one movie per book. Now Jackson’s only work up until that point had been some low-grade high-gore horror movies but he had the potential to make something great and really came through for the fans (and won quite a few Oscars in the process), and they clamored for him to get back in the director’s chair for The Hobbit. At first he declined because you only have to look at the behind the scenes stuff to know how grueling directing three movies back to back is. Guillermo del Toro stepped in for a time but for whatever reason stepped back out again. There was also uncertainty as to whether or not Ian McKellen or any of the actors from the previous films would return to play their roles when, or even if the time came. It was a period of long, languishing uncertainty for the Tolkienites, until Peter Jackson decided to put aside the ranger and become who he was meant to be. With him back at the helm, the people rejoiced, and I decided to pick up JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit to prepare myself for what was to come…

…and got so bored with it I kept losing my place and nearly fell asleep eight times.

I’m not gonna lie, The Hobbit is a slog to get through (for me at least). Tolkien introduces a bunch of characters with very little actual characterization, choosing instead to focus on minutiae such as landscapes, food, robe and hood colors, food, proper elf, dwarf and hobbit decorum, food, multiple names that multiple characters have for whatever reason, food, and sitting around doing nothing until they’re suddenly thrust into an action scene that’s hard to visualize because there’s so much going on…and did I mention FOOD?! I think I knew more about what kind of jam each dwarf had for breakfast every morning than anything about the dwarves themselves. With the exception of Bilbo and Gandalf I couldn’t tell any member of the company apart from each other. From what I’ve gathered, Tolkien at the last minute tried to pass the book off as a children’s bedtime story in case nobody took it seriously. Well I’m sure it worked because any kid would fall asleep from boredom from having to listen to this drawn-out tale (at one reading Tolkien did, someone in the crowd actually shouted “Not another fucking elf!” when one entered the story. I swear I did not make that up). I eventually gave up on the book and decided to wait for the films to come out to see what happened – and unlike the book, they did not disappoint. Quite the opposite, in fact…

…I think I may like The Hobbit movies, the first one at least, more than Lord of the Rings.

Let me finish…

Like I said before, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is great. You can’t just pop it in and leave it running like any movie however. I feel like sitting down to watch them has to be a special occasion, not just because you have to devote a big part of your day to watching at least one of the films, but because of the emotional roller coaster it puts you on (I’ve watched Return of the King three times with my boyfriend, and he can tell you how much of a sobbing wreck I was at the end of each of those viewings). The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is one I’m totally fine with putting on in the background but can still get the most from it. The stakes aren’t quite as high as the previous films, but there’s still plenty of drama and action, and at times glimpses of humor and a lighter tone that I think Tolkien was trying to get across when he said this supposed to be for kids. The atmosphere and mood puts you back in Middle Earth, taking you to places both familiar and new. Plus, it managed to do what the book didn’t – it made the characters MEMORABLE. I remember each dwarf’s name and look and personality, as basic as some of those personalities are. Every one of them gets at least one moment in the films that allow them to shine, and even if one of their names happens to slip my mind, I can still point to one and remember whom they are. Case in point – here is the company of dwarves as seen in the Rankin-Bass version of The Hobbit.

And here they are from the Peter Jackson films.

Now look away from the screen for a bit. Which set sticks out in your mind more?

…

…

…

I’m going to pretend you have the same answer as I do and say I thought so.

So, if I may amend my previous statement, JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit suck.

Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit do not.

We open our film in the home of Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, who lives in a home in the ground in a part of Middle Earth known as The Shire. Hobbits are people that are slightly smaller than humans and don’t wear shoes due to large hairy feet (yet surprisingly nothing’s ever come up in any of the books or films about them getting splinters or cuts from walking around barefoot all the time). They enjoy the simple comforts of home and tend to not get themselves involved in the doings of the rest of the world. Bilbo, who is approaching is 111th birthday, starts writing a book based on an adventure he went on many years ago, which he narrates to us, beginning with a brief history of the dwarf kingdom of Erebor. I have to say we’re off to a promising start. The dramatic flashback and narration is similar to how Galadriel’s narration kicked off things in The Fellowship of the Ring and just as effective. Also Ian Holm, who plays Bilbo, looks as though he hasn’t aged a day since he played him nearly ten years ago. Actually, is it me or does he look younger?

The one on the left is from Fellowship of the Ring (2001). The one on the right is from An Unexpected Journey. Seriously, would you have known if you hadn’t read the caption?

Anyway, years ago Erebor was one of the most prosperous kingdoms of Middle Earth due to the dwarves’ successful mining operations in the Lonely Mountain and commerce with the nearby city of Dale. It’s ruled by the dwarf king Thror and everything is going absolutely peachy…that is until the miners come across a fabulous jewel hidden deep in the mountain, the Arkenstone. Thror takes it as a sign that his rule and lineage is ensured and has every race of Middle Earth come pay homage to him. This includes the elf king Thranduil.

Now before we go any further, I’d like to point out that the version I’m reviewing is the director’s cut, meaning more scenes are added that can completely change another scene’s context. This is the case with this scene. In the theatrical and general dvd release, we jump from Thranduil approaching Thror on his throne to Thror enjoying his lavish riches. A few minutes later, when the dwarves turn to Thranduil for help after Smaug attacks, he just turns away from them for no real reason, making him look like a jerk (more so than he already is in these movies). In the extended cut, we see why he does that – apparently Thror promised to give Thranduil a rare treasure that was promised to his people, a chest full of diamonds that glitter like stars, but at the last minute Thror got greedy and kept the diamonds for himself. As Bilbo says, each race tells the story differently, but the one thing that can be agreed upon is that it started the eternal petty conflict between elves and dwarves. And things just get better from there.

Thror begins to amass his wealth and becomes more consumed by the sickness of greed, which worries his grandson, Thorin (Richard Armitage).

“Yesterday he tried jumping into his gold from a diving board. Claimed he saw a duck do it once. Now he’s been in the hospital for six weeks saying nothing but “Woo-hoo woo-hoo!” “

Now the moments in Erebor are atmospheric, and that one look Thorin gives says everything without actually saying anything at all. But as good as the writing and narration has been so far, this is where we get one line that is a major hiccup. Sit yourselves down for this one, are you ready? Good. Proceed.

“And where sickness thrives…bad things will follow.“

Wow. No, seriously, wow. I know this is something so minor to get hung up over, but Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh have won Oscars for their screenplays in the previous Lord of the Rings films, so I’m a bit flabbergasted as to how this was the best they could come up with. I have to stop the movie and go “Wait, WHAT?!” most of the time when I watch it that’s how much it jars me out of the experience. I’m sure somewhere George Lucas is nodding in approval, and as we’ve seen in the past couple of decades, that’s not always a good thing.

September Review: Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.)

“I’m bad, and that’s good.

I will never be good, and that’s not bad.

There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

     – Bad Guys Anonymous affirmation

So, funny story about my boyfriend and Wreck It Ralph –

I love my boyfriend. I do. You’ll never find a nicer, funnier, knower-of-all-things-relating-to-films-and-pop-culture-in-general-er kind of guy. He got me to ride Splash Mountain for the first time. He opened my eyes to the magic and wonder that is the horror genre of film, as well as some others that apparently exist beyond Disney, fantasy, and musical (boy have I been missing out!). He’s been there for me at times when nobody else in the world has, and inspired me to pursue paths and dreams I once never even considered. I in turn have shared my love of animation and theater and other things with him, and we have both grown and changed because of each other in all the right ways.

Going back to that last overly long bit of description though, he is a massive nerd when it comes to some cultural touchstones, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, video games, cartoons and most movies in general, he loves them all, and during our 5+ years together, he’s managed to indoctrinate me into quite a lot of these factions (When he found out I had the original unaltered Star Wars trilogy on VHS, we spent our first summer together watching them and I rediscovered just how great those films are. Needless to say we’re both hyped for “The Force Awakens”). One of our favorite pastimes when we’re not anticipating the next Marvel movie or planning our next trip to Comic Con is playing videogames, both new and nostalgic.

So when Disney announced that it was making a movie about video games…

That’s animated…

And has some name actors playing the parts…

And features some of the most iconic and beloved video game characters of all time…

And it takes place in different video game worlds in a single arcade…

You can bet he was first in line to see it. I, on the other hand, could go either way. Sure, Princess and the Frog and Tangled both proved Disney could do fairy tales right again, but could Disney handle something so steeped in pop culture and do it well without turning it into something like High School Musical or Pixels? I went in with some trepidation but in the end I came out smiling. It’s definitely in my Top 20 favorite Disney films, and one of my favorites of this recent Disney Animation revival period. My boyfriend on the other hand…

…well, we both enjoyed the Paperman short that came before it. That’s what counts, right?

To clarify, he doesn’t hate the movie, he just happens to fall into one of two camps that I’ve noticed exist concerning one character that either makes or breaks the film for some people. He enjoys much of the first act, but when that one character comes in, he’s out the door. I’ll go into more detail when we get to this person, but now, the review.

We open with an 8-bit version of the Steamboat Willie logo for Disney Animation, which is very promising. The animators have really done their homework on this one. They nail the 8-bit style animation seen throughout the film in cutscenes and how the players view the game, and even in how some of the older characters move normally within their games compared to the more recent ones. Originally this film was going to be traditionally animated (and if you look hard online you’ll see some really good pencil tests of the characters done by Eric Goldberg and Nik Ranieri) but for a film like this the animation should be done in CGI. All video games are computer games by default, and having it switch from CG to traditional animation would feel jarring. Sad to say it’d be hard to have a video game world that’s hand-drawn and make it believable.

Not you, though, Dragon’s Lair. You’re cool.

Our protagonist, the titular Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly), narrates his life story – he’s the villain in a popular Donkey Kong/Super Mario-esque arcade game, Fix-It Felix Jr., and his job is to make trouble for the game’s good guy, Felix, while he tries to repair the damage Ralph does to the Niceland apartment building he’s protecting. To be fair, Ralph has every reason to wreck up the place. In the game’s opening animation, we see him being kicked off his land without so much as a by-your-leave and the apartments are built right in front of him.

If this happened in the real world, he’d have no less than eight petitions, three Gofundme campaigns and a barrage of hashtag spams to back him up. #DontMoveRalphsStump

Everyday it’s the same routine – Ralph wrecks the building, Felix fixes it, and Ralph is thrown from the rooftop by the angry tenants before they reward Felix with a medal, pies, and their eternal adoration. Felix enjoys the penthouse suite, Ralph goes to sleep in a dump with nothing but mountains of bricks from the damage he’s caused. It’s enough to make any person depressed, but try doing it for thirty years, which is exactly how long the game has been plugged in the arcade. Ralph finishes his story, and it’s revealed that he’s been telling it to a group of other video game bad guys, some well-known, some obscure.

This is Bad Guys Anonymous, or Bad-Anon for short, where the villains of the arcade come together to share their stories and support each other. Since this is Fix-It Felix’s 30th anniversary, Ralph was finally driven to come to the group and confesses that he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore, which causes quite a stir (I love how it even makes Clyde go into that blue mode when Pac-Man eats the super-charged pellet). On being asked by M.Bison if he’s going turbo, Ralph denies it. When I first saw this, I thought it was just a shout-out to something M.Bison does because, major confession time, I’ve never played Street Fighter before. But pay attention, this “going turbo” thing will come up again later, right Bison?

August Review: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.) “Most of you won’t remember me or my adventures, but I assure you, they are true.”

     – Baron Hieronymus Karl Friedrich Freiherr von Münchhausen

I’m sure the few of you who know of this movie’s existence are jumping in your seats right now since someone on the internet is finally looking at it. I’m also sure that those of you who haven’t are scratching your heads in confusion. Allow me to elucidate –

“The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” is a fantasy film released in 1988 that is the final chapter in Terry Gilliam’s Imagination Trilogy, the previous two being “Time Bandits” and “Brazil”. These are films that deal with escaping the humdrum, conformity, and injustice of society through imagination, with each film representing the struggle to do so at different ages. Time Bandits does this through the eyes of a child; with Brazil we see it happen with a middle-aged man. Today’s film does this with an old man, or rather, several old men breaking free of the constraints of modern-day progress and performing fantastical feats to fight back against those who would force it upon them.

In other words, if you ever wanted to see a 2-hour long version of “The Crimson Permanent Assurance”, today’s your lucky day.

But first a bit of background about the man behind this movie.

Terry Gilliam – three things usually come to mind when you hear his name: that one guy from Monty Python, weird-ass director/animator, or, as Hollywood tends to peg him, the Director With the Worst Luck In the Universe. Why is that, you may ask? Things started off well-enough for him, directing some of the Python’s most beloved films (though most of the credit went to the other Terry in the group) and the financially and critically successful Time Bandits (which is a film I’ve noticed people either love or hate; My boyfriend is in the latter category so I choose not to discuss it any further).

It all started during the filming of Brazil. The studio executives started meddling with his vision, insisting that they change the ending and cut stuff out, and in the end released a version that’s considered on par with the Mona Lisa after an unfortunate meeting with a chainsaw. This resulted in the film bombing at the box office, and from there, it all went downhill. Sure, “The Fisher King” and “12 Monkeys” kept Terry afloat for a while, but “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”? A cult favorite today, but reviled back then. His Don Quixote movie? Never even got off the ground due to production troubles. “The Brothers Grimm”? Failed in everything but the casting. “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus”? His lead actor DIED halfway through filming (which makes me wonder if getting lost in playing the Joker was what really killed Heath Ledger). Terry Gilliam’s reputation for being a box-office curse has preceded him so much that he was turned down by Warner Bros. executives in favor of Chris Columbus to direct the first Harry Potter film despite being JK Rowling’s first choice, something that poor Terry has never gotten over.

I bring all this up because the film we’re looking at today, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, is practically a textbook example of Murphy’s Law, in that everything that could go wrong during filming did. You could write a book on the problems that occurred; in fact, they have! There was constant fighting between Gilliam, the producers and the studio, the production went tremendously over budget, I’m certain almost every actor involved got PTSD (Eric Idle flat out said no one in their right minds should ever be in a Terry Gilliam film unless they want to be driven insane. Ouch.), and a major change in management at Columbia resulted in the film getting limited release, ensuring its total box office failure…

…which is why it’s such a miracle that this film is as amazing as it is.

I mean it. I really do love this film. It’s easily in my Top 10 Favorites, and it saddens me that it does not get anywhere near as much love and appreciation as it should. There are very few movies as creative, as funny, as adventurous, as fantastical, as occasionally heartwarming, or as flat-out insane as Baron Munchausen. Time Bandits may have a lot of nostalgic value for some, and Brazil is daring and bizarre in all the right ways, but this? For all the fiascoes behind the scenes, you could never tell by how well they pulled it off. This is one of those rare movies that somehow, subtly, worm their way into my heart by including just a little bit of everything that I adore without me realizing it until after I’m hooked. With every viewing I discover some new detail or level of brilliance. I seriously consider it one of the last great fantasy films of the 1980’s, and one that is overlooked far more than it should be. It had a decent shelf-life after being released on video, but not to the point of, say “The Princess Bride” or Don Bluth’s films, where kids growing up renting them on VHS have made them household names today. I can name the amount of people I know who are aware of this film’s existence on one hand – my boyfriend, reviewer Huey Toonmore, the cashier at the Barnes and Noble where I bought this movie who started up a conversation about it with me, and the lady behind me in line at said Barnes and Noble who joined our conversation. It’s rare when you find something that manages to stop a line for several minutes so three random strangers can discuss it, but there you go.

So I know what you’re thinking about this review after my singing of its praises and giving an overly long backstory – I wish I could say that’s the last Python reference I’ll make in this review, but I make no promises. Let’s begin.