“Well, I finally got that Home Alone review done. Time to work on the fifth anniversary review -”
“Quick reminder, Shelf, you’ve got that big writers and illustrators’ conference in a couple of weeks. I’m sure you’re already well prepared for it though, no worries.”
“…”
Several weeks later…
“Ok, conference is done. Now to get to writing that -”
“Hey Shelf, how’s that next Krimson Rogue video review you’re editing coming along? Isn’t that due really soon?”
“…”
Several MORE weeks later…
“You know, I feel like there’s a project I should be working on, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what. Oh well, let’s see how the blog’s doing. It’s certainly been a while since -”
“Ahoy-hoy? *GASP* My dad’s friend from his video store days got friendly with a producer? He wants ME to design their movie pitch deck?! Sign me up!!”
ANOTHER several more weeks later…
“…Did I use to write my own blog or was that some sort of hallucination from being stuck in quarantine so long?”
“Ahoy-hoy? *GASP* My dad’s friend’s producer pal loved my pitch so much he showed it to another producer he knows? HE loved it so much he wants ME to design one for him too?! LET’S ROLL!!”
You get the drill…
“Hmm, this “Up On The Shelf” is a cute little blog. Shame it’s been forever since a review was posted. I wonder who…ohhhhhhhhhhhh.”
The short answer to your question: Yes, I’m still working on the fifth anniversary review. I know I keep flaking on my own deadlines but it will be up before the SIXTH anniversary comes around, I swear. I’m working as hard as I can when I’m able. Hey, it’s not like I’ve been spending my free time bingeing The Muppet Show and Wandavision, crushing Pikmin 3, and counting down the days ’til I get vaccinated, heh heh heh…
Anyway, stay safe, keep those hands washed and masks on even after you get your shot(s), and I’ll see you all soon.
I expected that once this day would come, I’d feel overwhelming joy, that’d I cry tears of happiness mixed with pent-up sorrow over the needless loss and suffering of the past four years.
Instead I felt…relief.
A quiet, calm unobtrusive sense of relief washing over me and taking every bit of fear and anger with it.
And it felt just as good.
The terror of tomorrow, the fury of injustice and helplessness that burrowed into my heart has been uprooted. From out of the hole rise hope’s repressed seeds, released at long last, ready to embrace the world.
All of our problems won’t be resolved overnight. There’s a lot of work to be done, a lot of damage to repair. The answer, however, has always rested with us. It’s good to know that, after experiencing the worst, we won’t let it happen again so easily, not as long as we’re vigilant, wise and compassionate. By placing our faith and trust into caring, capable hands, we make that start. We hold them accountable so they can hold others accountable. We stand together so no one will perish alone again.
Tonight, however, we celebrate, and rest.
I love each and every one of you. I hope you have the best night’s sleep you’ve had in four years. I wish you peace, happiness, and above all, relief and release.
Look, it’s pointless to reiterate how much of a colossal trainwreck it was. We’re all eager to move on and embrace all the hope and possibilities that 2021 has to offer, and this blog is no exception. Despite my schedule clearing up so suddenly early on, I got nowhere near as much writing done here as I hoped I would. Hell, it took me five days after New Years Day just to finish this. I feel like I’ve done more apologizing for running late than I’ve done any actual posting and I can’t…well, apologize enough for that. I was hit with a perfect storm of burnout, writers’ block, pressure, other responsibilities and general anxiety about my health, my family’s health, and the state of the world almost simultaneously, and it wrecked most of my plans for what was supposed to be the blog’s big fifth year.
And yet, despite every nervous cell in my brain telling me I wasn’t going to make it, here I am.
Here we are.
We made it.
We (barely) survived Coronavirus with a vaccine now on the way. We (barely) got through four years of Trump and utterly squashed the threat of four more. I taught an art class and fully developed two children’s books while getting started on several more. I bounced back into video editing. I even helped edit a podcast (Channel KRT, please check them out). Hamilton came to Disney+. Animal Crossing returned with an adorable wholesome vengeance as did Pikmin and apparently Pokemon Snap very soon. We got a kickass Princess Bride reunion/cast reading. TikTok actually spawned something creative and positive in the fan-made Ratatouille musical. People from across the globe banded together to fight racism. Thanks to Zoom I’m closer than ever to family and friends whom I haven’t spoken to in years. For all the overwhelming bad that 2020 brought to our doorstep, it brought a surprising amount of good with it, too.
And despite the false starts and panicking and chronic lateness, you stuck with me throughout it. Amelia, Gordhan, Sam, I have no words to properly convey my thanks for giving me the financial support I needed. And to everyone else who read and commented and liked what I had to say about random movies, I appreciate your readership and encouragement. Thank you.
Of course, I know the real reason why you’re here, to read silly summations of everything I reviewed in 2020! Yes, I promised I’d make that a yearly tradition, and it’s one I intend to keep. I’m also going to be sharing my plans for 2021 and one more bit of pleasant news that helped 2020 end on a personal high note. So stick around, because it’s time for Return of The Poorly Explained Movie (and Holiday Shorts/TV Episode) Plots!
Hi everyone! I’ve been hard at work on the reviews for December when I hit a crossroads concerning a certain character who’s popped up more than once (hint: he’s mean, he’s orange, and he’s due to be homeless by January). Without going into too much details, a recurring joke I had planned for him which fit in rather nicely with the short I’m reviewing spiraled into something of a sendoff for the character. I knew I wanted to “fire” him after the election, and what I had in mind was nothing short of apropos (and more than a little cathartic). Then I had second thoughts: since what happens to him is a subversion of what I’m reviewing, would it be too mean-spirited, even for a monster like him? I made a poll to gauge your opinions on whether or not I should keep what I had planned in the review or just leave him out altogether. Click HERE to learn more and let me know what you think. I’ll see you in December, and I hope you have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.
(If you don’t have a Patreon, just leave your choice in the comments.)
Hello everyone, I thought with a lot of people giving updates on how they’re dealing with the coronavirus and quarantine that I’d relay my own situation as well.
Don’t worry, I’m not infected, and I’m taking enough precautions that I most likely won’t be. I work from home so not much has changed, but I’ve been helping my parents adjust to doing the same. I can’t remember the last time we’ve been holed up in one place like this, but we should be okay so long as we don’t come into contact with other kinds of viruses:
I hope that made you laugh. We all could use a good laugh now, which makes the timing for what I’ve got for the first of next month all too perfect, hopefully. Even then, it’s okay to be upset with the amount of closures of public places and events that leave us sequestered in our rooms (I managed to see Onward before the movie theaters closed and it was very good. Here’s hoping they release it on VOD/Disney+ soon because that movie doesn’t deserve to flop due to public safety concerns.) I bring this up because something I had planned for this blog during the month of May has been affected thanks to this pandemic, and I’m working on rescheduling it for a later time. See, my sister was going to have her wedding then, and rather than leave you all in the lurch as I spend half the time rushing to prepare and the other half partying in Cancun, I was prepping for a month full of scheduled pre-written mini-reviews surrounding a certain topic near and dear to my heart. Think Monster Madness or Disneycember but in text form. Since my sister made the difficult decision to postpone the wedding until later in the year, however, I’ve decided to do the same. Movie reviews will continue as usual, and I promise to make them as entertaining and enlightening as possible. This will also give me more time to gather my many thoughts on the subject I’m eyeing. Now I just need to come up with a different clever name, hopefully one that’s still alliterative.
If you’re still worried about what to do next if you’re home stuck and looking to occupy yourself with something other than constantly checking your twitter feed for updates, then look no further. I’ve compiled a list of ways I’m planning on spending my time and some handy tips on how to deal with our current situation which I hope will help you:
This is the perfect opportunity to binge through whatever series or films you’ve been wanting to see, whether it’s something new or one you’d like to revisit. Personally, I’m looking forward to finally watching Kipo and Infinity Train and catching up with Ducktales.
The same goes for reading. Wanna curl up with a good book you’ve been putting off? Now’s the time. If audiobooks are more your thing or you want something to listen to while you work, LibraVox offers free downloads of classic stories from the public domain you can listen to.
Podcasts are also a viable option; I recommend Tony Goldmark’s highly entertaining Escape From Vault Disney. He’s taking requests this month if you’re a patron of his!
If you’re practicing social distancing but still crave some form of social interaction, find that Twitch or Discord that’s related to the thing or entertainer you like and join in. You’ll meet some like minds and maybe even make a few new friends. (Let me know if you’d like me to start a Discord server as well as I’ve begun considering it).
Video games are a good outlet too, especially if you can do online multiplayer. If anyone here’s got a Switch and wants to join me in a game of Mario Kart 8, hit me up!
If you have to go out for food and supplies, DO NOT. HOARD. THE TOILET PAPER. By doing so, you’re ensuring that whole families who need to wipe themselves go without a comfortable means of doing so. I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with owning all the Charmin in the tri-state area, and if you’re one of those people, be so good as to enlighten me. Based on my research, you do not contact the virus through your butt.
Also, please be nice to the people who are working retail at this time, especially at the grocery stores. They have to be there even though they really don’t want to, and are doing the best they can in helping others with the situation regardless. Don’t make it harder for them by demanding they produce more hand sanitizer for you. They are people, not genies.
Continuing from that topic, hand sanitizer is handy to have on you (see what I did there?) but the best thing you can do is wash your hands for at least 20 seconds at a time. That amounts to singing the ABCs or Happy Birthday twice, or if you’re me, I follow this handy musical song excerpt chart. I lean towards Defying Gravity, You Can’t Stop the Beat and the Phantom theme.
Seriously, wash your hands, guys.
There are a lot of people out there whose livelihood has been directly affected by the virus in that they’re too sick to work, afraid to go to work or can’t because their place of work has been shut down. If you’re able to donate any food, resources or money to keep them afloat until it blows over, seriously consider it.
Face masks won’t work in preventing you from catching the virus, so don’t spend your money on them. Leave them to the medical professionals who know how to properly attach them so the chances of being infected are minimized, and actually need them so they can help patients without being infected themselves. If you insist on wearing a face mask, do it only if you are sick so you won’t risk coughing or sneezing on anyone.
Don’t blame China entirely for this. Don’t blame Chinese or Asian people in general for this. Don’t refer to to the coronavirus as the China disease or Kung flu or as whatever so-called “creative” nicknames you have relating to the country. Don’t use this sickness as an excuse to be racist.
Stay safe, and keep calm. Check for updates online, but sparingly. Don’t keep the news on 24/7. Make sure what you read comes from reliable sources, ie. WHO or CDC. If it’s from the White House, change the channel. Though the news is constantly reporting the amount of cases and deaths, what they don’t mention is that people are still recovering from this virus. And we will. Life will go on, and we will keep moving forward.
And until then, keep washing those hands.
And if you happen to suffer from cabin fever at any point in the coming weeks, may it be full of festive salsa-dancing muppets.
Happy 2020, everybody! While this past decade has been…interesting, I’m looking forward the new Roaring ’20s. Yessir, it’s gonna be nothing but speakeasies, gangsters, and lindy hops from here on out.
…What? What do you mean it’s not THOSE 20s?! Did I mastermind a hostile takeover of Chicago’s west side for nothing??
Anyway, as much as I would have loved to have the review of Fantasia 2000 up on today, its 20th anniversary, post-holiday malaise plus pre-SCBWI conference preparations means I’ll have to put a hold on that for a while. I will say this: the review following that one will be another Patreon request courtesy of Amelia Jones, and it’s yet another Disney classic I can’t wait to talk about.
Speaking of anniversaries, this year Up On The Shelf is turning five. Ah, seems like only yesterday I was figuring out how to make screencaps with captions. I’m honestly moved people have been following me and encouraging me to write for so long. I have a few ideas of how to mark the occasion that I’m keeping close to my chest for now. Just stick around, the best is yet to come in 2020.
And hey, you know what else around here involves a 20? That’s right, myPatreon! It’s gotten a pretty big boost this past year thanks to the generous support of my patrons. Amelia, Gordhan, Sam, you guys rock. I just need $20 before I can hit my goal of doing weekly tv series reviews. I’ve already got a bunch of fun shows picked that I’d love to talk about, but I can’t do it without your help. Any good word of mouth would be much appreciated. And as always, patrons get fun perks like extra votes, requests, and sneak peeks.
I was going to end this here, but I did want to post something a bit meatier than the usual “bye old year/hi new year” that circulates the internet these 48 hours. So, just for ships and giggles, I came up with this. I think I’d like to make it a new New Years’ tradition here on the blog:
Ladies and gentlemen and peoples of the non-binary persuasion, I give you, The Plot of Every Movie I’ve Reviewed So Far…EXPLAINED POORLY.
Hi everyone, I had plans to post the next batch of movies to vote for today, but I’ve got some good news to announce: I’m heading to the Society of Children’s Books Writers & Illustrators Winter Conference in February! I need to devote as much time as possible to getting my portfolio and book ready for this event, so I’ll be taking January off to prepare. You can still vote for what movie you want me to review once the hiatus is over, however, so with any luck I can try get something out before February’s over. I’d hate for the blog to be thrown off schedule as badly as it was last year.
And of course, if you’re subscribed to my Patreon, I regularly post excerpts from upcoming reviews so you won’t be left completely high and dry during that time.
So let the continuations commence! Here are the follow-up films you can vote for:
Well, I’ve been anticipating/dreading this, but I went ahead and got Disney+. I’m in the middle of the trial period and I confess I haven’t had the time to watch everything yet – not just because there’s so freaking much but I’m in the middle of writing the Rankin-Bass reviews. As of now I’ve finished the first two, am 75% done with the third, and have touched upon the last two (Surprise! There’s going to be FIVE reviews in December! Even if you already know what the original four were, I’m not going to spoil them or what the additional one will be.)
From what I have seen of Disney+, however, I’m impressed. Both new and classic DuckTales and Mickey Mouse shorts coexisting? Legend of the Three Caballeros legally available in the states at last? A place to finally binge watch shows I vaguely remembered like Gargoyles, Darkwing Duck and Tron Uprising? Virtually the entire catalogue of the incredibly cheesy “What Walt Would Have Done” era comedies like The Barefoot Executive and Million Dollar Duck for people who actually remember those? Star Wars’ first live-action series? In-depth documentaries that’ll make any Disney-phile drool? The Black Cauldron, Darby O’Gill and Return to Oz finally getting some recognition? Over a years’ worth of Disney Afternoons you can cram in a week?! They really went all out to entice people into this service!
And yet…
One of my favorite Disney shows as a kid was The Little Mermaid series. I was particularly eager to return under the sea and let that wave of nostalgia wash over me. It was the very first thing I searched for once it was all set up.
But then I clicked on it, and immediately noticed something was missing – the very first episode.
Don’t be fooled by the numbers. I grew up with this series and I’ll have you know the very first episode of The Little Mermaid is “Whale of a Tale”, aka the one with the heartwrenching opening where a baby orca gets orphaned by whalers and Ariel rescues him while Jodi Benson sings a song about how every creature deserves a loving family and is a punch to the gut every time I hear it!
What could have happened to make the people in charge of getting this series up on Disney+ forget the episode that started it all and is featured the most in the series intro for goodness sakes! I know the first few minutes are a tad…emotional, but it’s a great beginning to a fine addition to one of my favorite Disney movies. This series may not be high up on anyone’s priority, but I still can’t wrap my head around how they made this kind of error.
On a similar note, I see the original Mickey Mouse Club and Spin & Marty there (awesome), and they have The Sign of Zorro, but not the Zorro series itself? Disney’s Zorro was great! Hilarious, swashbuckling, great acting and that classic Walt Disney feel? If all the Herbie movies and Star Wars prequels can get some time in the spotlight, why not this one?
Of course, I can’t forget the Fox in the room. The timing of Disney+’s release with their acquisition of 20th Century Fox is a bit too coincidental..and very problematic in the long run, but that’s a thought for another time. My cable provider didn’t support FXX’s streaming at the time so I had to rely on my trusty worn 480p dvds to get my Springfield kicks. But for better or for worse, the entirety of one of my favorite shows of all time is available to stream in glorious 4K HD…but it’s been badly cropped to fit widescreen TVs, resulting in awkwardly cramped scenes and visual gags cut off by the black. Boo.
(EDIT: I’ve been informed that Disney+ will broadcast The Simpsons in its original 4:3 aspect ratio starting in 2020. Whether “Stark Raving Dad” will be added to the lineup at that time remains to be seen, but considering the controversy surrounding it, it’s best not to hold your breath.)
One issue I worried about was how much of Disney’s, ah, “questionable content” from the Walt era would be included. A notorious rumor that floated around for a while was that movies like Dumbo would be completely re-edited to remove the stereotypical racial characters like the Crows or the Siamese Cats from Lady and the Tramp. While I can’t pretend I don’t see why people would get in an uproar over their inclusion today, hacking these classic films for the sake of political correctness would have been a travesty. My fears were put to rest, however, when those movies were not only left fully in tact, but came with a small content warning in the vein of Warner Brothers’ unedited cartoon releases. Very good, Disney, you’re learning…but that doesn’t excuse unleashing all of those terrible direct-to-video sequels side-by-side with the superior originals! Any poor child could accidentally expose themselves to them! Won’t somebody please think of the children?!
Like I said, nearly every Mickey Mouse short is here as well as many of the Silly Symphonies among others. I wish they could have been grouped together to make them easier to find and watch all at once, but who knows? Maybe they’ll do that in the future.
“Hang on, I’m getting to my point.”
I know this post looks like me complaining, but I’m genuinely excited for almost everything Disney+ has to offer and can’t wait to revisit some of my favorite series and discover new ones. But this service can still do better. There’s some notable flaws that I hope they fix in due time, and even more I’d like to see that I hope they get around to including.
In short, Disney+ isn’t perfect, the “everyone’s here” tag line isn’t quite accurate, and their iron grip on how much of the Fox film catalogue goes in and out of the vault is worrisome, but I have high hopes that they’ll improve as it goes along and I’m thrilled to see what they come out with next.
Besides, what could other streaming services have that this doesn’t?
“New…hand-drawn…animated…I’M COMING NETFLIX! DON’T START WITHOUT ME!!”
Thank you for reading! Have you gotten Disney+ yet? Do you have any recommendations? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see you soon!
…Also if we can make #WheresWhaleOfATaleDisney+ a thing I will be eternally grateful to you all.
Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you’re able. Patreon supporters receive great perks such as extra votes for movie reviews, movie requests, early sneak-peeks and more! If I can hit my goal of $100 a month, I can go back to weekly tv series reviews. As of now, I’m only $20 away! Special thanks to Amelia Jones, Gordhan Rajani and Sam Minden for their contributions!
Hi all, I’ve been doing some thinking about Patreon lately and I feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m grateful to my loyal patrons but it isn’t easy creating bonus content or early access for blog posts as it is videos.
That’s why from now on, for $5 or more, you can access excerpts from upcoming reviews. Join today and you can get a sneak peek at a bit of the Rudolph review, which won’t be out until December 1st. Thanks, and I’ll see you soon!
