A Country Song

Tags

Alvin Bragg, arrest, arrested, arrested president, celebrate, country, Disney, drumpf, E. Jean Carroll, former president, fuck fascism, fuck GOP, fuck republicans, fuck the nazis, fuck trump, indictment, indictment day, Jack Smith, Johnny Mercer, Letitia James, Nancy Pelosi, parody, parody song, president, Robin Hood, spoof, Stormy Daniels, The Felon Prez of the US, The Phony King of England, trump, vindication

Oh the world will sing of a treasonous king a thousand years from now
And not just ’cause he broke some laws or where or why or how
While waiting for some peace after Barack Obama had gone,
We all had to suffer under that good-for-nothin’ Don
Despicable as he is inept, whenever the history books are kept,
They’ll call him the Felon Prez of the US

A pox on the Felon Prez of the US!

Don’t tell us please, don’t tell us please, don’t tell us please, we pray,
Where did he come from, where is he goin’, what did he do all day!

He sat alone on the White House throne pretendin’ he’s a king
An obese tyke; or rather, like, Putin’s puppet on his strings
And he threw some Twitter tantrums when he could not have his way
And pretends he’s bereft ’cause of “the woke left”
See, it ain’t “fair” when he must pay

He’s not only known as Don the First,
He’ll always be known as Don the Worst,
A pox on that Felon Prez of the US!

While he lied and cheated, bullied, screeched, and robbed us of our rights,
Pelosi, Carroll, Bragg and James were fighting the good fight
And with pissed-off Stormy and Jack Smith in their wily pack,
They’ll finally make the bastard pay and take our country back
This time he can’t escape, the wussy,
‘Cause Justice grabbed him by his pussy

The wheezin’ and deceivin’ Prez of the US!

The snivellin’, grovellin’ (election stealin’)
Thunderin’, blunderin’ (Nazi-lovin’)
Sexist, racist (narcissistic)
Jibberin’, mockin’ (gonna lock him)
Screamin’, plottin’ (wall buildin’)
Stealin’, dealin’ (boot lickin’)
Griftin’, sniffin’ (pants-pissin’)
White House wreckin’ (insurrecting)
Donald Trump, the Felon Prez of the US!

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“The Phony King of England” was originally written by Johnny Mercer for Disney’s Robin Hood. The preceding parody lyrics are by yours truly. I’m no Weird Al Yankovic, but I had to do something to mark the occasion.

Escape From…Not On Vault Disney Plus?

Tags

1960's, 2000's, Channel KRT, David Hyde Pierce, Down With Love, Escape From Vault Disney, Ewan McGregor, Kitt Quinn, parody, Peyton Reed, podcast, Renee Zellweger, Renie Revas, Romance, romantic comedy, spoof, tony goldmark, update

Hey y’all, I’m back on one of my favorite podcasts, Escape From Vault Disney! Every March the episodes are themed to a viewers’ choice poll and this year the winner was Not On Disney Plus, meaning Tony and friends are covering Disney and Disney-owned media not on the streaming service for various reasons. In this case, we got to watch Down With Love, a 20th Century Fox comedy directed by Peyton Reed that we had A LOT of good things to say about (this movie’s joining The Shelf for sure). Come listen to us laugh and sing the praises of the movie on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Libsyn, Audible and Listen Notes. Down With Love is now Up On The Shelf! Cheers!

Think of it as a brief Faerie Tale Theatre intermission…

Hi folks, really sorry but the nest Faerie Tale Theatre review is going to be delayed until next week. Not only am I recovering from a bad cold but I’m in the middle of some big plans that I can’t discuss just yet. I hate being secretive but I don’t want to announce anything that isn’t set in stone.

Anyway, the review will go up February 13th. Thanks as always for your patience and understanding.

Frosty (and I) Returns…to Channel KRT!

Tags

Andrea Martin, Bill Melendez, Brian Doyle Murray, Channel KRT, Christmas, Christmas cartoon, Christmas review, christmas special, Elisabeth Moss, environmental message, environmentalism, frosty, Frosty Returns, frosty the snowman, funny, Jan Hooks, John Goodman, Johnathan Winters, magic, magic hat, obscure, obscure animation, podcast, snow, snowman, talking snowman, winter

Following up from the previous post, here I am back on the Channel KRT podcast to discuss the little-known Frosty sequel “Frosty Returns”! What happens when a studio that isn’t Rankin-Bass tries to build their own snowman with blackjack and hookers John Goodman, Elisabeth Moss, and the Flying Dutchman? You get an odd, not-quite Christmas special with environmental overtones that furthers the divide between snow lovers and snow haters. Come listen to us discuss the inexplicable reappearance of everyone’s favorite snow golem on Apple Podcasts, Podcasts Online, and now on YouTube!

Also, face reveal. Merry Christmas.

Bah Humbug, Delayed Again!

Tags

cartoon review, Channel KRT, Christmas review, disney review, frosty, Frosty Returns, movie review, Muppets, Muppets Christmas Carol, musical, podcast, review, tv review, update

I’m sure this comes as a surprise to no one, but the review for Muppet Christmas Carol isn’t ready just yet. There’s a lot to be said about the film and I couldn’t say it all on time, unfortunately. My goal is to have it posted before Christmas Eve at the very latest.

Since I don’t want to leave you all hanging until then, please allow me to share some delightful news: This month I hit the three-timers club on the Channel KRT podcast! I was invited to discuss the little-known unofficial Frosty The Snowman sequel, Frosty Returns, and we all had a hoot doing so. The full episode should be ready soon (and I will eagerly promote it when it is), but patrons can listen to the first 20 minutes right now for only $5. Tyler, Randee and Kit are a great bunch and I highly recommend you support them, even if it’s a one-time donation.

So until then, I hope you’re having a safe and happy holidays, and I’ll see you soon with the finished review!

Vote for Your Christmas Shelf Review! (Plus Life Updates)

Tags

A Christmas Carol, blog, blog post, blog update, brian henson, cartoon review, Christmas, christmas carol, Christmas cartoon, christmas episode, Christmas review, christmas special, christmas story, disney muppets, disney review, ghost of christmas future, ghost of christmas past, ghost of christmas present, ghost of christmas yet to come, library, movie vote, muppet, Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Movie, Muppets, review, television review, The Muppets, tv review, Up On The Shelf, update, Updates, vote, vote now

Greetings, all! Hope you’re enjoying this spooky season! It’s often around this time I open the blog to vote for multiple Christmas-related specials and films for me to review, but things will be going a little differently this year.

In September I began a new job as an Assistant After-School Tutor at the largest library in my district. It started simple enough, just helping out kids with homework and doing activities with them twice a week. The staff and clientele are great and the pay is decent, no complaints. In fact, I did well enough flying solo in my first weeks there that I got promoted! As of October 24th I will officially be the Lead Tutor, with all the raises, responsibilities, and extra workdays the position entails.

How does this bode for the blog? Well, the holidays are a busy time for me, as some of you already know. Writing three lengthy posts on top of the Faerie Tale Theatre reviews is pretty stressful even before taking the new job into account. That’s why I’m limiting myself to just two Christmas reviews – and I already have one of them picked out.

What can I say, it’s a stone-cold classic that’s hitting a milestone this year and I don’t want to pass up the chance to talk about it.

“So what do I get to vote for?” you may ask. The answer is simple, dear friends: anything on the Christmas Shelf that’s under the category “Very Special Specials”. Let me know the special you want me to look at in the comments or by emailing me at upontheshelfshow@wordpress.com. Don’t worry, you’ve got plenty to choose from.

Thanks, happy voting, and I’ll see you on October 20th with the next Faerie Tale Theatre review!

Escape From Vault Disney Part 3: Phantom of the Megaplex!

Tags

2000, announcement, Charles Moss, dcom, Detective Cat, Disney, disney channel, disney channel original movie, disney parks, Escape From Vault Disney, Mickey Rooney, movie, movie theater, movies, phantom, Phantom of the Megaplex, podcast, Rae Harrell, Some Jerk With a Camera, tony goldmark, TV movie, tv review

Hey everyone! The newest episode of Escape From Vault Disney is out and I’m on it along with my good friend, avatar artist and Detective Cat creator Charles Moss, and voice actress Rae Harrell! We had a blast looking at the Disney Channel “classic” Phantom of the Megaplex and we hope you enjoy listening to our rambling. Have a listen here, here, here, here, or here. Most of all, stay tuned to the end for a very special announcement!

We’re Experiencing Technical Difficulties…

Guess who’s computer decided to fizzle out on them this weekend? (Well it wouldn’t be an anniversary without me being late for it…) I can’t apologize enough. I’m going to try to get the reviews out as soon as possible, Monday the latest. But so I won’t leave you completely empty handed today, I’ve made the previously patrons-only list of randomized movies I’ll be looking at public. You can see them all here. Thanks for being so patient, and I’ll see you soon!

Seventh Anniversary Plans

Tags

anniversary, announcement, blog, blog post, blog update, film, film review, films, movie review, Movie Reviews, patreon, random, Up On The Shelf, update, Updates

Hey everyone! Hope you’re beating the summer heat and having fun in the sun. As some of you already know, the blog is turning seven this month, and I’m doing something a bit different to mark the occasion. Rather than write one big movie review, I’m doing twelve randomized mini-reviews! These will be based on features I’ve watched in the past year. Don’t worry, these will not count towards the requested reviews that are currently on hold, or full reviews of features that are On The Shelf; rather, some of them will be previews of what’s to come should they get the proper review treatment.

Patrons of the blog will get to see the full list of which flicks I’ll be covering among other great perks, so consider joining the Patreon party today! I’ll see you July 30th when we celebrate in cinematic style. Shelf out!

Return to Channel KRT!

Tags

80’s movie, 80s, 80s toys, announcement, Channel KRT, Lurky, Murky, nostalgia, podcast, Rainbow Brite, Rainbow Brite San Diego Zoo Adventure, San Diego Zoo, Twink, vhs tape, video, zoo

Guess who’s back on Channel KRT? I was invited to reflect on an odd videotape from my childhood, Rainbow Brite: San Diego Zoo Adventure. Come listen to me, Tyler, Randee and Kitt riff on badly costumed characters, questionable animal interactions, a sidekick with the most unintentionally hilarious name, terrible rainbow graphics, and a plan to steal animals’ color that makes zero sense. Some of the team may have regretted it but I certainly don’t, and I’m sure you won’t either. You can listen to it at any of these links, and be sure to join their Patreon for extra fun stuff! Enjoy!